Beberapa waktu lalu, seorang kawan bali ngajarin self hipnosis. Dia ngajarin 2 kali, cuma 5 menit.
Pengajaran pertama, sukses. Gw waktu itu optimis dan iklas bukan main. Pasrah yg gembira. Gw cheerful kembali, dan bahkan sampe bilang ke suami: sayang, aku gamau sedih lagi.
Waktu itu, pengajaran bilang: iklas. Iklasin aja tu penyakit ada. Iklasin juga utk pergi.
Dan berhasil waktu itu. Pikiran gw tenang sekali..
Pengajaran kedua, dia nanya2 mimpi gw kedepan apa, dan begitu tau soal sekolah lanjutan dan pgn baby, doi langsung menyuntikan ide2 akan mimpi itu kedalem kepala. Bahwa gw bisa mendapatnya.
Dan oh.. Gw ombang2 lagi. Karena gw, sudah belajar utk iklas akan belasan kertas yg aku tempel di dinding berisi target2 beberapa waktu kedepan.
Kini, dibahas lagi. Aku jd inget kalo aku gamau sakit. Padahal dah menghipno diri kalo pasrah..
Sekarang, ada sedikit rasa trembling lagi.
9.11.10
6.11.10
Abu
Rasanya ga percaya, di layar kaca, tampak gambar orang2 berwarna hitam putih-abu2. Dan bukan permainan potosop atopun salah kamera. Tapi nyata, orang2 yg bener2 berwarna abu. Tak ada kilapan warna kaos merah pendukung MU, atopun ijo kebaya ibu2. Semua abu.
Mereka semua, terselimuti oleh debu dari dalam gunung. Seperti patung hidup. Yang beribu2 jumlahnya.
Debu dari dalam gunung itu, biasanya diambil untuk buat gedung tinggi jakarta, rumah2 beton..
Bahan bangunan itu, menyelimuti manusia yg kecil dan ringkih, tanpa sisa.
Aku gabisa ngebayangin gimana orang bisa hidup berliputi semen. Menjadi patung hidup.
Rasanya sedih.
Tapi juga kagum, betapa kuatnya mereka yang terselimuti debu semen itu, dengan tetap senyum dan melanjutkan hidup.
Iya, ga ada yg patut disesali dalam jalanin hidup. Kita cuma ngejalanin dan ngelanjutin jalan. Susah ato nggak, kita tetep maju.
Ayo, kita saling share. Saling bantu.
Mereka semua, terselimuti oleh debu dari dalam gunung. Seperti patung hidup. Yang beribu2 jumlahnya.
Debu dari dalam gunung itu, biasanya diambil untuk buat gedung tinggi jakarta, rumah2 beton..
Bahan bangunan itu, menyelimuti manusia yg kecil dan ringkih, tanpa sisa.
Aku gabisa ngebayangin gimana orang bisa hidup berliputi semen. Menjadi patung hidup.
Rasanya sedih.
Tapi juga kagum, betapa kuatnya mereka yang terselimuti debu semen itu, dengan tetap senyum dan melanjutkan hidup.
Iya, ga ada yg patut disesali dalam jalanin hidup. Kita cuma ngejalanin dan ngelanjutin jalan. Susah ato nggak, kita tetep maju.
Ayo, kita saling share. Saling bantu.
5.11.10
Iklas deh
Kamu tau? Aku akhirnya sampai pada pemikiran "hey, ini bukan badanku. Aku cuma dititipin. Tugasku yang bringing it alive.. Kalo emang badanku ini badan yang rusak, yah, so be it. Aku bakal ngehidupin ni badan rusak jadi badan rusak ter asik!"
Yap, setelah beberapa waktu, dalam 4 bulan ini aku terima berita sakit itu, aku emang stress dan jatuh semangat luar biasa. Rasanya semua mimpi yang kurancang untuk jadi orang besar, lukisan laku 6 juta euro, aku bermanfaat bagi umat, ancur..
Ah, jangan lagi bicara baby. Sudah berapa lama ini mindset kuubah atas fitrah seorang ibu itu..
Kupikir, even if I survive it, mungkin gen rusak ini bisa ada di babyku, jadi bikin dia lebih sakit nanti. Aku gatega.
Dan if I survive it, masih banyak bayi lain yg butuh ibu.. Tinggal pilih yg cakep2 aja.. (Hyeh.. Tetep milih)
Berapa lama ini, aku belajar banyak. Belajar ikhlas. kata suamiku, kalo aku stress, badan langsung reaksi kuat. Jadi, think of happy thought aja. 'I love the way you live the life with passion.' Katanya. 'Kamu energiku. Kalo kamu semangat, aku juga semangat.' Dia bilang.
Live it to the fullest. Ga peduli berapa lama. Hidupin badan rusak ini. Be happy.
Beberapa waktu kemaren aku ketemu sesama penderita sakit ini. Dan dia bilang, 60persen yang nyembuhin: self healing. Yakin aja kalo akan sembuh, sembuh, sehat, sehat.
seorang kolegaku orang bali yang bisa meditasi, ngajarin aku self hipnosis. Dia ngeyakinin kalo semua penyakitku itu bisa lepas kalo kuijinin. Seperti melepas semua amarah, dendam, semua yg dipendem sendiri di hati, relakan, maafkan. Ijinkan mereka pergi. Dia ngasih 4 kata ajaib: I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you, thank you.
Dan, I felt better then.
Perasaan rela itu ternyata menyenangkan, iklas, adem.
Jadinya nih sekarang, aku pasrah. Aku dah rela. Ni bodi emg bukan punya gw kok, terserah yang punya mau dikasih apaan. Mau diambil penyakitnya lagi ya monggo. Aku cuma bertugas menghidupkannya dengan baik kok. Amin..
Tapi ya, entah kenapa, aku optimis aku akan baik baik saja..
Whatever will be will be.
Yap, setelah beberapa waktu, dalam 4 bulan ini aku terima berita sakit itu, aku emang stress dan jatuh semangat luar biasa. Rasanya semua mimpi yang kurancang untuk jadi orang besar, lukisan laku 6 juta euro, aku bermanfaat bagi umat, ancur..
Ah, jangan lagi bicara baby. Sudah berapa lama ini mindset kuubah atas fitrah seorang ibu itu..
Kupikir, even if I survive it, mungkin gen rusak ini bisa ada di babyku, jadi bikin dia lebih sakit nanti. Aku gatega.
Dan if I survive it, masih banyak bayi lain yg butuh ibu.. Tinggal pilih yg cakep2 aja.. (Hyeh.. Tetep milih)
Berapa lama ini, aku belajar banyak. Belajar ikhlas. kata suamiku, kalo aku stress, badan langsung reaksi kuat. Jadi, think of happy thought aja. 'I love the way you live the life with passion.' Katanya. 'Kamu energiku. Kalo kamu semangat, aku juga semangat.' Dia bilang.
Live it to the fullest. Ga peduli berapa lama. Hidupin badan rusak ini. Be happy.
Beberapa waktu kemaren aku ketemu sesama penderita sakit ini. Dan dia bilang, 60persen yang nyembuhin: self healing. Yakin aja kalo akan sembuh, sembuh, sehat, sehat.
seorang kolegaku orang bali yang bisa meditasi, ngajarin aku self hipnosis. Dia ngeyakinin kalo semua penyakitku itu bisa lepas kalo kuijinin. Seperti melepas semua amarah, dendam, semua yg dipendem sendiri di hati, relakan, maafkan. Ijinkan mereka pergi. Dia ngasih 4 kata ajaib: I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you, thank you.
Dan, I felt better then.
Perasaan rela itu ternyata menyenangkan, iklas, adem.
Jadinya nih sekarang, aku pasrah. Aku dah rela. Ni bodi emg bukan punya gw kok, terserah yang punya mau dikasih apaan. Mau diambil penyakitnya lagi ya monggo. Aku cuma bertugas menghidupkannya dengan baik kok. Amin..
Tapi ya, entah kenapa, aku optimis aku akan baik baik saja..
Whatever will be will be.
29.10.10
Cace
Kalo kamu ngira kanker serviks itu terjadi karena pergaulan sex bebas (aja), itu salah. Daya tahan tubuh orang beda2. Itu yg bikin penyakit dateng.
Penyakit itu bisa dateng hinggap bahkan ke gadis muda yang sangat sehat, menjaga makanan yg masuk ketubuhnya, dan bahkan tidak pernah melakukan hubungan sex dalam bentuk apapun.
Konsekuensinya gawat, hampir semua dokter bilang: solusinya cuma diambil rahimnya.
Itu kalo masih tahap ringan. Kalo dah tahap berikutnya, ambil seluruh organ rahim dan indung telur. Kalo dah lebih berat lagi, mesti di kemo dan sinar beberapa kali, dan gaboleh putus. Kalo putus, lu mati. (Banyak kasusnya)
Kemo itu mahal bener, dan kalo penyakitnya makin berat, makin mahal. Ada yg leukemia, sekali kemo harus 100jt. Ada juga yg kanker dagu or samting, 3 jt aja.
Karena proses penyembuhan itu lama, lu pastiin nemu dokter yg kontinu dan bikin nyaman. Diskusiin semuanya, kemungkinan2nya, tahapan2nya, sampai berapa budget yg lu mampu.
Karena kalo kemo putus gara2 biaya, then it's over. For you.
Dan, dukungan orang2 sekitar kita sgt penting. Karena yg lu punya ntar cuma semangat hidup.
Life indeed is a big chain of surprises.
Penyakit itu bisa dateng hinggap bahkan ke gadis muda yang sangat sehat, menjaga makanan yg masuk ketubuhnya, dan bahkan tidak pernah melakukan hubungan sex dalam bentuk apapun.
Konsekuensinya gawat, hampir semua dokter bilang: solusinya cuma diambil rahimnya.
Itu kalo masih tahap ringan. Kalo dah tahap berikutnya, ambil seluruh organ rahim dan indung telur. Kalo dah lebih berat lagi, mesti di kemo dan sinar beberapa kali, dan gaboleh putus. Kalo putus, lu mati. (Banyak kasusnya)
Kemo itu mahal bener, dan kalo penyakitnya makin berat, makin mahal. Ada yg leukemia, sekali kemo harus 100jt. Ada juga yg kanker dagu or samting, 3 jt aja.
Karena proses penyembuhan itu lama, lu pastiin nemu dokter yg kontinu dan bikin nyaman. Diskusiin semuanya, kemungkinan2nya, tahapan2nya, sampai berapa budget yg lu mampu.
Karena kalo kemo putus gara2 biaya, then it's over. For you.
Dan, dukungan orang2 sekitar kita sgt penting. Karena yg lu punya ntar cuma semangat hidup.
Life indeed is a big chain of surprises.
24.10.10
4.10.10
Ka si h
Tadi siang kami berkasih. Sebenarnya aku masih takut. Karena dokter menyarankan sebaiknya tidak. Jangan mengajak badanmu membuat telur.. Ia akan menjadi air lengket yang menjadi makanan benda itu.. Nanti benda itu bertambah besar di dalam bungkus calon bayi yang mungkin tak datang.
Iya, aku takut berkasih, walaupun aku selalu menggodanya seperti bintang film profesional.
Bahasa kasih, adalah bahasa bahagia diantara dua orang saling kasih.saling butuh. Bagaimana aku bisa tak mau?
Lalu,di depan kaca besar di bawah air panas jatuh, aku berkaca, tanpa helai. Sendiri. bertanya, apa benar benda itu ada didalam ini?
Aku ingin tahu. Tapi aku takut..
Aku baru saja jatuh cinta..
Iya, aku takut berkasih, walaupun aku selalu menggodanya seperti bintang film profesional.
Bahasa kasih, adalah bahasa bahagia diantara dua orang saling kasih.saling butuh. Bagaimana aku bisa tak mau?
Lalu,di depan kaca besar di bawah air panas jatuh, aku berkaca, tanpa helai. Sendiri. bertanya, apa benar benda itu ada didalam ini?
Aku ingin tahu. Tapi aku takut..
Aku baru saja jatuh cinta..
29.9.10
28.9.10
Flesh
The flesh is served beautifully.
Korean resto.
Wagyu.
Beefsteak. Chickensteak. Pork.
Beautiful, elegant.
To eat it is a sign of being elegant human.
What if.. The flesh is.. Human flesh?
Served beautifully?
Still being called cultured human?
Korean resto.
Wagyu.
Beefsteak. Chickensteak. Pork.
Beautiful, elegant.
To eat it is a sign of being elegant human.
What if.. The flesh is.. Human flesh?
Served beautifully?
Still being called cultured human?
3.9.10
Perang
Perang itu bukan ekspresi kemarahan.
Bukan.
Tetapi rakus.
Menjadi rakus pun butuh rencana, visi dan misi. Perlu juga persekutuan. Partner in crime.
Seorang anak yg brutal menyerang cakar sana sini, bukan berperang. Tapi ngamuk.
Karena perang adalah sebuah seni, seni menguasai.
Dan seni perang terbaik adalah yg tak membutuhkan banyak korban dan otot, karena merugikan secara finansial dan sumberdaya.
Seni perang terbaik adalah dengan rak berperang.
Bukan.
Tetapi rakus.
Menjadi rakus pun butuh rencana, visi dan misi. Perlu juga persekutuan. Partner in crime.
Seorang anak yg brutal menyerang cakar sana sini, bukan berperang. Tapi ngamuk.
Karena perang adalah sebuah seni, seni menguasai.
Dan seni perang terbaik adalah yg tak membutuhkan banyak korban dan otot, karena merugikan secara finansial dan sumberdaya.
Seni perang terbaik adalah dengan rak berperang.
31.8.10
Believe
Entah kenapa. Jiwa lembut itu berubah ganas.
Namun kulit lunak pun mengeras jadi duri bila terluka.
Kata pedagang venesia itu: if you wrong us, shall I not revenge?
Namun kulit lunak pun mengeras jadi duri bila terluka.
Kata pedagang venesia itu: if you wrong us, shall I not revenge?
30.8.10
Meriksa itu SADARI
KOMPAS.com - Melakukan pemeriksaan payudara sendiri atau SADARI menjadi langkah awal mendeteksi kelainan pada payudara. Lakukan SADARI secara rutin, yakni setiap bulan pada hari ke-10 terhitung dari awal menstruasi. SADARI bisa dilakukan perempuan sejak berusia 20 tahun. Karena dengan melakukan pemeriksaan dini inilah, kanker payudara bisa dicegah dari risiko yang lebih tinggi.
Akan lebih mudah bila Anda melakukan SADARI sehabis mandi. Gerakan meraba atau memijat lembut lebih mudah karena masih adanya sabun yang menempel di kulit, kata ahli onkologi dr Ramadhan, SpBOnk, dalam talkshow Healthy Chit Chat beberapa waktu lalu. Simak caranya:
1. Perhatikan payudara dengan seksama, lihat apakah ada kelainan ataukah normal saja. Caranya ada dua, pertama dengan mengangkat kedua tangan Anda hingga di atas kepala. Kedua, letakkan kedua tangan Anda di pinggang. Cara ini bisa membantu Anda mengenali payudara. Apakah ada perubahan bentuk atau payudara tidak simetris. Anda juga bisa melihat apakah terdapat kerutan pada payudara, kulit berubah seperti kulit jeruk. Jika menemukan tanda ini sebaiknya segera periksa ke dokter.
2. Angkat lengan kiri ke atas kepala untuk melakukan pijatan lembut pada payudara. Gunakan permukaan jari yang rata untuk mengurut payudara. Pastikan untuk menyentuh seluruh bagian payudara. Gunakan pola yang sama setiap bulannya. Meraba, menekan, atau memijat lembut payudara membantu Anda mengetahui apakah ada benjolan atau tidak. Meski tidak semua benjolan adalah kanker, tetap saja, Anda perlu segera periksakan ke dokter untuk mendiagnosa dan mendapatkan penangangan yang lebih tepat.
3. SADARI bisa dilakukan dengan tiga gerakan pijatan. Pertama gerakan arah berputar dengan menyentuh seluruh bagian payudara. Raba payudara dengan gerakan memutar seperti mengelilingi area puting. Gerakan kedua, lakukan SADARI secara sistematis, dengan arah naik dan turun. Pastikan seluruh bagian payudara tersentuh, baik bagian pinggir dan tengahnya. Ketiga, lakukan SADARI dengan gerakan arah keluar dan masuk di setiap bagian payudara.
4. Periksa juga puting Anda dengan menekannya lembut. Pastikan apakah ada cairan yang keluar. Jika puting menjadi lunak, mengeluarkan darah atau cairan, ini pertanda agar Anda segera memeriksakan diri ke dokter. Selain itu ada juga tanda lain seperti puting bersisik, memerah, dan bengkak.
5. SADARI juga bisa dilakukan dengan berbaring. Caranya periksa daerah antara payudara dan ketiak, serta daerah antara payudara dan tulang dada, sambil berbaring. Ulangi semua langkah 3 di atas (gerakan meraba, memijat, dan menekan lembut) untuk payudara sebelah kanan. Waspadai benjolan di sekitar ketiak.
Hanya membutuhkan waktu sekitar 10 menit untuk melakukan SADARI. Jadi, lakukanlah secara rutin setiap bulan. Jika Anda menemukan adanya benjolan permanen, jangan ragu untuk segera memeriksakan diri ke dokter, demi penanganan lebih dini dan lebih tepat untuk mencegah kanker payudara.
Sumber: www.peduliperempuan.com, program Pfizer Woman Care.
27.8.10
9.8.10
Really, married life is great. Life is not in cold anymore. especially when the man u r married to is a very warm loving guy. He cooked me nasigoreng for sunday lazy breakfast yesterday. He made sure I consumed the medicine I must take. He carried me on his two hands when I'm too tired. He also bought me shoes.. That red ninewest heels.
I am satisfied.
Yes, I am.
He loves me big. He needs me big. He wants to support me big.
I am so.. Happy.
..
..
But..
I am a hungry girl. Selfish. Proud. Angry.pervert (ah, this one, he can manage me well.. Heheh).
I am still a dreamer.
He knows this. And he wants to help me.
But I'm still too lazy, stupid, and no guts.
I am selfish and proud. I still want to catch that selfish dream for me. My ownn pride!!
I'm occassionally in anger..
True! And for this, he's always got a way to tame me. And actually that was how we got married.
He tamed me.
He tamed me when I was in terrible anger,disbelieve on anyone,doubtful,judging, in deep pride, spreading harsh words,..
he was simply only told me good words.
And I m tamed.
And now..
I am satisfied as a person. As a wife.
But, I am still not satisfied as the miss G.
The stubborn miss G.
G, come on gather those guts!
*this miss G, is still on anger*
I am satisfied.
Yes, I am.
He loves me big. He needs me big. He wants to support me big.
I am so.. Happy.
..
..
But..
I am a hungry girl. Selfish. Proud. Angry.pervert (ah, this one, he can manage me well.. Heheh).
I am still a dreamer.
He knows this. And he wants to help me.
But I'm still too lazy, stupid, and no guts.
I am selfish and proud. I still want to catch that selfish dream for me. My ownn pride!!
I'm occassionally in anger..
True! And for this, he's always got a way to tame me. And actually that was how we got married.
He tamed me.
He tamed me when I was in terrible anger,disbelieve on anyone,doubtful,judging, in deep pride, spreading harsh words,..
he was simply only told me good words.
And I m tamed.
And now..
I am satisfied as a person. As a wife.
But, I am still not satisfied as the miss G.
The stubborn miss G.
G, come on gather those guts!
*this miss G, is still on anger*
8.8.10
4.8.10
Women on
Ada satu persamaan dari para pemimpin perempuan cantik.
Sama dengan cara mereka merawat diri, dan menampakkan diri, yaitu menjadi cantik.
Maka cara mereka meng-handle perusahaan mereka sebagai pemimpin nya adalah bersolek. Membuat perusahaan itu terlihat cantik.
Berteman dengan banyak orang, kalangan, menanamkan nama baik,
Dan dilakukan sendiri.
Jarang percaya orang lain.
Lalu, perusahaan itu tampak cantik, tapi, perusahaan itu kehilangan isi. Karena pemimpin perempuan jarang memikirkan isi. Tentang bagaimana mencerdaskan pegawai, sistem kerja efektif..
Tidak.
Tapi ia akan ada untuk melanglang dunia memperkenalkan diri dengan cantiknya. Dan cerdasnya.
Lalu, ia tak dimiliki anak buah. Tidak.
Tak ada kedekatan emosional yang dibuatnya.
Cantik, tapi kosong.
Tentu, banyak juga para pemimpin perempuan yang mampu memikirkan isi perusahaan, bahkan mendayagunakannya dengan cerdas untuk berguna bagu bangsa.
Perempuan2 yang bervisi dan cerdas.
Tapi tak banyak.
Dan ketika ia mampu membuat sukses, perempuan itu disetarakan sebagai lelaki.
Perempuan berkualitas lelaki.
Yang sedikit tak salah.
Perempuan2 jenius ini, seringkali berbeda wujud dengan pimpinan seorang kawanku yang cantik tapi perusahaan yang dipimpinnya terasa hampa.
Mereka biasanya sangat padat ilmu, kecerdasan, strategi, namun seringkali taklemah gemulai seperti perempuan ayu lainnya.
*gw sadis*
Sama dengan cara mereka merawat diri, dan menampakkan diri, yaitu menjadi cantik.
Maka cara mereka meng-handle perusahaan mereka sebagai pemimpin nya adalah bersolek. Membuat perusahaan itu terlihat cantik.
Berteman dengan banyak orang, kalangan, menanamkan nama baik,
Dan dilakukan sendiri.
Jarang percaya orang lain.
Lalu, perusahaan itu tampak cantik, tapi, perusahaan itu kehilangan isi. Karena pemimpin perempuan jarang memikirkan isi. Tentang bagaimana mencerdaskan pegawai, sistem kerja efektif..
Tidak.
Tapi ia akan ada untuk melanglang dunia memperkenalkan diri dengan cantiknya. Dan cerdasnya.
Lalu, ia tak dimiliki anak buah. Tidak.
Tak ada kedekatan emosional yang dibuatnya.
Cantik, tapi kosong.
Tentu, banyak juga para pemimpin perempuan yang mampu memikirkan isi perusahaan, bahkan mendayagunakannya dengan cerdas untuk berguna bagu bangsa.
Perempuan2 yang bervisi dan cerdas.
Tapi tak banyak.
Dan ketika ia mampu membuat sukses, perempuan itu disetarakan sebagai lelaki.
Perempuan berkualitas lelaki.
Yang sedikit tak salah.
Perempuan2 jenius ini, seringkali berbeda wujud dengan pimpinan seorang kawanku yang cantik tapi perusahaan yang dipimpinnya terasa hampa.
Mereka biasanya sangat padat ilmu, kecerdasan, strategi, namun seringkali taklemah gemulai seperti perempuan ayu lainnya.
*gw sadis*
30.7.10
Maunya
Ngeliat video kawinan, gw jadi nyesel, ga ngucapin kata2 sendiri, yg bakal diliat anak gw ntar betapa romantis nyokapnya..
Yah gini ya, kawinan itu.. Svck.. Lu gabisa ngapa2in, mesti nyerah egonya.. Bakal banyak bgt hal yg gak lu pesen, lu atur, tiba2 sak jrengeng..
Pelaminan norak yg dateng..
Tiba2, elu yg dah dandan cantik dgn baju dan makeup artis pilihan lu sendiri, ditempatkan di latar kandang ayam..
Hati lu mesti dipasrahin abis..
Kalo ga nerima, hasil potonya dan acara bakal terrible abis..
Secara, elu as bride adalah pusat acara panjang itu.
Waktu itu faktor penguat gw adalah gw dah megang satu potograper keren, temen gw sendiri, untuk mempoto gw di baju keren dgn berat susut 7kilo, di gedung keren. Cuma itu penguat gw. Jadi hal lain seperti pelaminan rumah kampungen.. Gw ga ngelirik dah..
Tp ternyata gw baru sadar liat poto dan pideo potograper nyokap yg standar sop banget.
Kampungens brooo.. Kayak kawinan anak pak kades..
Baju krem gw jadi putih polos kayak mukena. Tanpa gradasi apapun.
Dan pelaminan noraknya mempertegas kekampungan itu. Oranye, ungu, ijo disatuin. Ada merah dan goldnya.. Olalaaa.. Big nono buat gw...
Dan padahal gw dah pesen gebyok jati coklat tua polos, dan bunga putih. Titik. Simple dan elegan. Itu pesen gw. Dan ibu itu cuma bilang, oh iya iya, beres..
Ahhh welll
Rebesss
Harusnya gw pilih sendiri semuanyaaaa
Nah, ada hal menyebalkan lagi.
-gw cium tangan laki gw. Ini suck. Gw bersumpah dari dulu kalo gw ga akan cium tangan laki gw. Penghinaan buat gw..
Tp nyokapnya nyuap gw.. Setiap kali ketemu dia ciummm mulu tangan gw. Dan laki gw juga.
Gw jadi gaenak..
Dan akhirnya gw ciumlah tu tangan laki gw yg males potong kuku. Huh..
Tapi, demi.. Demi kelancaran acara dan semua senang dan di poto gw keliatan cantik..
-disuruh ngomong 'akang, saya akan mengikuti akang';' akang, ucapkan takbul zakiya samting..' Yang eww I wuddd neverr say thosee!!
Tapi, demiiiiiii.. T. Gw dah pasrah dah mau diapain, yg penting sorenya gw poto cuantik..
-gw didikte ngikutin kata2 ustad itu. Word by word.. Ewww yg kata2nya najong berat dah..
Kalo gw tau bakal di pideoin, gw pasti langsung nyela.
Dan bilang:
" sayangku, aku, adalah seorang pemimpi. Itu kekuatanku. Tapi seringkali aku tak tau bagaimana mewujudkannya.
Bertemu kamu, aku tau, kamu bisa buat aku bisa.
Sayangku, kamu bukan laki yang datang dari mimpi, tapi kau adalah laki bumi, yang datang untuk mewujudkan mimpi.."
Aku cinta kau..
Rencananya sih
Rencana, mau hanimun nih januari. Secara doi cisa cuti baru ntar.
1. CGK-HKT. 21jan. X2. 1.040.000
2.HKT-KUL 23janx2. 900.000
3. KUL-REP 24janx2. 600.000
4. SGN-CGK 30janx2. 2.000.000
-----------------+
Rup 4.540.000
Nah itu baru estimasi tiket pesawatnya aja..
Kalo gw sih, sbnernya bisa2 aja brangkat sinting gak persiapan, nginep dimanapun. Laki gw apalagi.
Tapi laki gw tuh, kayaknya gamau bgt gw luka sedikitpun.. Gw yakin tar bakal lbh susah jalan ma doi..
Yooiiiii ayooo semangat nih..
1. CGK-HKT. 21jan. X2. 1.040.000
2.HKT-KUL 23janx2. 900.000
3. KUL-REP 24janx2. 600.000
4. SGN-CGK 30janx2. 2.000.000
-----------------+
Rup 4.540.000
Nah itu baru estimasi tiket pesawatnya aja..
Kalo gw sih, sbnernya bisa2 aja brangkat sinting gak persiapan, nginep dimanapun. Laki gw apalagi.
Tapi laki gw tuh, kayaknya gamau bgt gw luka sedikitpun.. Gw yakin tar bakal lbh susah jalan ma doi..
Yooiiiii ayooo semangat nih..
17.7.10
wed count
okay. let's count.
1. Wedding dress.
a.White dress: tanabang, 6m brocade x12 = 72K
satin,4mx10 = 40K
Gave it to designer : 4jt
total : 4. 112. 000 rp.
b. Red dress: tanabang,3m red brocadex50 = 150K
satin: 3mx10 = 30K
boutique lynn's bandung = 500K
bolero of a designer+accessories= 1000K
total : 1.680.000 rp
c. Make up plus accessories (3 times). morning akad, afternoon photoshoot, and nite party.
total : 3.000.000 rp
d. Shoes. hadthem forlong, bcos im a shoeholic.
Zara : 700K Ninewest red : 459K
total: 1.159.000 rp
2. The groom suites
a. Morning akad. white.
designer : total: 4.000.000rp
b. Nite Party suit. Carthago.
blazer = 1.200K
pants = 360K
shirt = 299K
red tie = 100K
total: 1.959.000 rp
3. Photographer.. Santirta and mas Sulis. price? well it's a secret. but that talented photographer is a friend of mine. so,it was a friendly price he gave us.
4. Ferry band, recommended by a good friend. Awesome, and affordable, nice people and soooooooo stunning!! love them. Price? also a secret. cant tell you.
5. the Concordia resto.
they only charged for the food. not the venue.. so, itwas quite affordable luxury they offer.
this is from my side.
i dont include what our both parents had spent for the wedding.
the most expensive cost is to pay for their big families.
if not,then,wonderful wedding is actually affordable. if you've got a job and can pay.
16.7.10
has tied the knot
we finally tied the knot.
ah, those days.. were so hectic.
and i finally found out that the legend about bride frantic before wed-day is true. i had it myself.
i ran away from home. i asked my self wether i want the marriage or not. i wondered if my choice of him was wrong. the feeling that i wanna go out and run,leaving the oath table.
but yet, thank god i'm a snob. pride is what i believe is important.
i already invited a lot of people.
strictdiet
hard n strict diet for a month,only eating papaya, semangka at breakfast and dinner. having kailan garlic or boiled bayam or broccoli for lunch. thank god it worked. i reduce my weight, 7kilo.hahah.. i was fat and i didnt realize it until i started dieting that month.
and i actually still wanna lose it another 6. don't ask the number.
thedress
that dress was my dreammmm dress. perfect. it could be better,but its gorgeous ooredi. i didn't want kebaya or other common wed dress.
my wed vision was: great classic simple photo. showing what we both are.
i choose for the designer,plus makeup, show her my design, and she turned it into owwwww dresss.
for this dress, i did strictdiet.
the photographer
what i want for the wedding is actually the greatphotos. i want to be extremely beautiful in the photo. bcos after wed, i might get knockedup sooner..
so, i got myself a gorgeous dress, and got me strictdiet, and voila.
the date
3x7 = 21
2+1=3
3x2 +1 =7
3.7.2010
well here we go
btw, i did ranaway, a day before wedding day.
my mom cried. my dad got pissed off.
my guy found out, and broke the pingitan promise i asked him.
then,i knew.
the minute i saw him.
i want to be with him.
'i care only for you. not anything else. i want to be your wife.'
he said,'we will be good.' and he kissed me.
then, he dropped me home, to get my beauty wed sleep.
and we tied the knot the next day.
i am glad that i am married to a man that i love. who loved me big.
i'm following what my heart is asking..
30.6.10
Uneasy heart
My heart is uneasy.
All this joy and good thing keep visiting..
But my heart is still uneasy.
My dream. my way. My freedom.
Have not yet fulfilled.
I still want to live it..
My journey.
Alone.
Will you help me, love?
All this joy and good thing keep visiting..
But my heart is still uneasy.
My dream. my way. My freedom.
Have not yet fulfilled.
I still want to live it..
My journey.
Alone.
Will you help me, love?
26.6.10
Sometimes I still miss my single moments. Being free, unattached, undepended on anyone.
When I got married, I still want to be an individual.
When everyone's cleaning on their own sh)t.
To cook whatever they each want.
Doing different hobby.
We are different. He and I.
He doesn't like jogging. He does only swimming. He likes being together. I like being alone. He feels responsible on anything. I do everything I want, for me.
He wants me to cook. I don't like cooking, washing,ironing.
Sometimes, I'm afraid.
But I'm a loner, so what's the terrible thing just to add some guy to your life?
I thought so.
Turns out, that one guy brought a mom, sister, uncles,aunties, friends,with multiple problems on it.
What I hate, I have to play the role to smile in front of his smoking friends and some families.
I hate smoke. Smell, annoying.
I Always do consider smokers are stupid. And women smokers even more.
To ruin your own body is stupid.
Eat healthy, do sports. The rest will be ok.
So, this happened to be such a cultural shock. For me.
Not excited, not sad, just.. I feel none.
Just like having a friend in your room like in dorm.
Miss G, will always be miss G. Ignorant talented shrew free dreamer
Huh
When I got married, I still want to be an individual.
When everyone's cleaning on their own sh)t.
To cook whatever they each want.
Doing different hobby.
We are different. He and I.
He doesn't like jogging. He does only swimming. He likes being together. I like being alone. He feels responsible on anything. I do everything I want, for me.
He wants me to cook. I don't like cooking, washing,ironing.
Sometimes, I'm afraid.
But I'm a loner, so what's the terrible thing just to add some guy to your life?
I thought so.
Turns out, that one guy brought a mom, sister, uncles,aunties, friends,with multiple problems on it.
What I hate, I have to play the role to smile in front of his smoking friends and some families.
I hate smoke. Smell, annoying.
I Always do consider smokers are stupid. And women smokers even more.
To ruin your own body is stupid.
Eat healthy, do sports. The rest will be ok.
So, this happened to be such a cultural shock. For me.
Not excited, not sad, just.. I feel none.
Just like having a friend in your room like in dorm.
Miss G, will always be miss G. Ignorant talented shrew free dreamer
Huh
20.6.10
The 80% white dress
Bravo irna la perle..
I love it that it's 95%perfect to what I want.
Who aint love perfection?
Especially perfection in seeing beauty.
2.6.10
23.5.10
20.5.10
Emoh
Semakin gw ikutin bahasan pintar ini, semakin otak bilang: emoh!
Ada yang salah dengan otak gw. Atau rasa gw. Apanya?
Gabisa gw biarin gini terus..
Stay or out?
Ada yang salah dengan otak gw. Atau rasa gw. Apanya?
Gabisa gw biarin gini terus..
Stay or out?
19.5.10
ini punclut, bandung
dulu ni daerah sepi, as in 1986 an. sekarang, kayak gambar disini, dah rame ama tempat2 makan gubug gitu, yang jongkok2 kayak abdi dalem sultan.ni tempat laku, karena bagus amat pemandangannya.
jadi, dari ciumbuleuit ke atasss terus, sampe dah. lanjut2, tembus tu lembang.
nah dulu kan orang di jalan aja bisa liat tuh view, sekarang mah, musti masuk dulu ke gubug baru bisa liat kota bandung dari atas. coba di malem ari.
ini jalan dari punclut gubug ke lembang.
eh, lu2 gausah kesini deng, tar bandung tambah penuh dan tambah maceet aja.jadi lecet deh tu kaki nginjek rem
ini jalan dari punclut gubug ke lembang.
eh, lu2 gausah kesini deng, tar bandung tambah penuh dan tambah maceet aja.jadi lecet deh tu kaki nginjek rem17.5.10
Kejap dan lama.
Meninggalkan sekejap cinta didalam rumah.
Iapun begitu.
Sampai kubuka lagi pintu.
Iapun begitu.
agar kami kembali bertemu bercerita berhadapan tentang sianghari.
Aku dan kamu.
Iapun begitu.
Sampai kubuka lagi pintu.
Iapun begitu.
agar kami kembali bertemu bercerita berhadapan tentang sianghari.
Aku dan kamu.
14.5.10
12.5.10
5.5.10
25.4.10
8.4.10
kucing pramuka
kalo lu dateng ke sebuh tempat yang banyak rumah, beton, tukang jual baso, jalan beraspal, lu bakal ngerasa aneh ga kalo ada kucing seliweran?
nggak pastinya kan.
ini sebuah pulau kecil, di tengah lautan luas. jaraknya 3 jam pake kapal besar seharga 30ribu rupiah dari muara angke di jakarta.
pulau kecil itu,hanya berukuran 20menit jalan kaki muterin satu pulau.
perumahan biasa, seperti di dalam area perumahan desa, atau daerah kos2an anak kampus di margonda depok.
ada sd, smp, sma (namanya smu 69). ada rumah sakit bagus, yang katanya ga ada isinya gara2 ga ada yang sakit. dan listrik, yang baru menyala pukul 9 malam. tapi sudah lumayan lah. benar2 kota kecil. tenang, dan nyaman, tak ada kerusuhan dan paksa2an beli2 ini itu. pengamen apalagi, ga ada.
sisanya dari kehidupan sosial itu?
Laut.
Laut biru, gradasi. dari terang keputihan sampai biru banget.
semuanya bikin hati seneng.
dan kucing2, disana banyak..
hampir semuanya kita temuin pada tidur sangat amat nyenyak seperti mati. dimana saja. rumput, meja, kursi, yang terletak di jalan.
ciri fisiknya, kulitnya ga begitu halus, tapi lumayan bersih, ga ada yang gendut, dan bobo semua.
mungkin, itu karena panas pantai yang bikin ngantuk,dan selalu makan ikan mentah yang katanya buat bulu kucing rontok dan kasar. dan.. ga ada anjing.
kepenasaran gue muncul lagi. gimana bisa mereka berkembang biak disini, secara ya, kucing, masak iya tumbuh dari lepehan ikan tripang..
dan teorinya sih, pastinya ada orang pertama yang bawa2 kucing, ato ada kucing2 yang masuk tak sengaja ke kapalbuat ngejar tikus di pulau.
dan berkembang biak.
mikir kaya gitu, gue jadi ngerasa pulau2 itu seperti perwujudan kisah nabi nuh..
22.3.10
13.3.10
7.3.10
Pusing
Okay, now I'm stressed.
I just got home in jakarta,
Sat in my pink sofa..
And I've got that strange awkward feeling.
I'm distressed
I was having my own life. I made it the way I want it.
Now, two moms, one dad, brothers, big number of people coming involved.
They gave us rules, wishes,life..
O my..
This is big,
And I Hate It!
I want my own life..
Now I'm petrified.
I nearly hate him..
For being so obedient to the family..
For being so closed to his friends that I can not feel closed to..
I hate being ruled, by anyone
But I need him
And I'm still petrified..
I just got home in jakarta,
Sat in my pink sofa..
And I've got that strange awkward feeling.
I'm distressed
I was having my own life. I made it the way I want it.
Now, two moms, one dad, brothers, big number of people coming involved.
They gave us rules, wishes,life..
O my..
This is big,
And I Hate It!
I want my own life..
Now I'm petrified.
I nearly hate him..
For being so obedient to the family..
For being so closed to his friends that I can not feel closed to..
I hate being ruled, by anyone
But I need him
And I'm still petrified..
6.3.10
Hh
Everybody needs him.
I don't need anyone.
How can we deal this..
He likes staying in house to have his friends coming, hangingout, visiting, etc etc.
I like staying in my flat to have noone coming and do my own world.
How can we deal this..
He said, why do u limit yourself
Mom said, why are you so snobbish
I said, I just like to do things my own..
Can we deal this?
I don't need anyone.
How can we deal this..
He likes staying in house to have his friends coming, hangingout, visiting, etc etc.
I like staying in my flat to have noone coming and do my own world.
How can we deal this..
He said, why do u limit yourself
Mom said, why are you so snobbish
I said, I just like to do things my own..
Can we deal this?
4.3.10
ngabur ultah
jalan2 ke orchard ama esplanade, jam 6 pagi dari cengkareng, dan jam 6 sore sampe cengkareng lagi
Kamu di post-it
Aku siap untuk mewujudkan mimpi lagi..
3.3.10
my intl job
International Law Journal.nah, tulisan2 didalem jurnal2 inilah yang seharusnya menjadi kerjaan gue.
peneliti hukum internasional bidang hukum angkasa.
tapi otak gue sekarang lagi mampet.
dan terus menerus makin ngerasa kalo ini bukan kerjaan gue, tapi ego gue untuk ngerasa kalo gue ini pinter, dan bisa ngatasin hal2 susah yg ga gue suka seperti hukum (angkasa.)
dan terus menerus bilang,kalo gue punya keluarga ntar, anak gue akan gue dorong untuk nemu hal yg dia suka, dan terus berusaha untuk ngedapetin apa yg dia mau, dengan usahanya sendiri. karena ga ada yg lebih menyenangkan dari ngelakuin apa yg kita mau, kita suka, kita butuh, dengan segala usaha kita.sendiri.
jangan sampe, kesombongan elu ngalahin kesenangan hati lu yg sangat jujur.lu bakal rusak.
dan kalo lu dah terlanjur rusak, mesti gimana?
gatau.
yang tau jawabannya lo sendiri,abis jawabannya cuma, jujur aja ama lo sendiri. yeah, big surprise, ga banyak orang yg bisa jujur sendiri ternyata.
we all are liars.
well, kalo gue, kalo dah kecebur, ya mau ga mau gue harus renang2 surviving.ngalawan arus hati, sampe ketepi sungai deras.
jadi, sebenernya sih, gampang aja, kalo gue kesampingin hati. semua masalah bisa dijawab pake matematika.logika.
so, pertanyaan: kerjaan lu apa? ngapain? gimana? apa aja bahannya? trus?
jawab: peneliti. nulis. baca banyak buku. jurnal. dan nulis.
udah itu aja. gampang kan
iya. gue struggling untuk hal2 mudah itu. hhh
okay, you friends,just get out. this is my own battle. out of my side! shooh!
19.2.10
kecilnya kertas biruu
poor little blue paper..
okay turned out, i don't need to bring much to sing.
unless if you intended to shop..
i think, for only one day trip to take pictures in esplanade, raffles, orchard, everywhere the mrt goes..
weonly need the mrt tickets.
which is only 15sgd to buy the new one, and 10sgd to reload it. or 70K rp. yeah, with under 100 K rp, u still can live..
with 500 K rp, u can stayover the nite, and go home the next day.
the public transportation, it's oh, so cheap, and available almost every 4 minutes. reliable also.
more, the people are so nice and informative.
very different with our own people in our own city. they are so fierce to theirown fellow indos.
summary: if your nature in your home is already cheap, then you will manage to survive out there, anywhere..
self and with
my boyf and i, we both had different idea of friendship.
for him, friendship is to be available to help or be there whenever the friend wants to.in need, fall, for no reason..etc..
yeah, i can't agree more. it's fine, i do believe so.
so, one dinner, i'm picking this bottle of ketchup across the table, right in front of him who sat next to me.
i was reaching that far bottle.
then, he stopped it.
harshly, he said, 'just ask. that's the beauty of life. you don't have to do it yourself!'
then he took that bottle easily and put it near my mushroom fettucini plate.
ow, i first thought he stopped me because of my sleeve that he scared off would be dirty to be on the food, or the germs i might get infected to his food.
and i was surprised.
yeah, im a smartass, i dont take advice from others, but i do listen.
and i heard those 'justask' word many times, i sometimes say it to my shy friends.
and i was surprised that i was surprised.
o yeah, i said to him. 'its a new word for me. never think of that..' ah, stupid lie. the truth, i can not give the smart answer at the moment.i was still mesmerized.
and now i have moment to think about it.
now i got it.
for him, life is wonderful for having cooperation between people. friends helping others.
when you fall down the small street, even only having very tiny cut in your knee, just ask. or don't, people will help you. and that is so,o, beautiful life.
for me, well dude, life is more beautiful when you can stand up and stick upyourself. you fall? so what. just get your ass up. IT IS MORE BEAUTIFUL!
honey, you are the first son in the family. yeah, you take care of everybody. so, to help is in your blood.
me?im the last daughter. i've had enough of the security given by others. to live, is about to stand out, good.
my schatzi, yea, i think you and i, we both, different and complete each other..
heheh..
lub you beyb..
much
so,u said u're the cynical one,huh? yeah rite
oh office..every single day is always a battle to love you..
heard that much?
feel that much?
once heard it somewhere?
well..
they said 80% working at the office people feel do.
well,
if my bestfriends spray these words..
i'd give them advice:
'so, then, leave it! go! find and do things that you like.find you passion. and stick to it!'
'live your life! dont be a sucker like all the sucker people who licks their bosses arses and say good things in their faces.go! live'
'honey, if you feel that way in instant, then, it's not your job.'
yea.. that's what i'd be saying.and believe.
still do believe.
hhh
yea,
someone don't read her own advice..
c'est moi
5.2.10
3.2.10
29.1.10
28.1.10
Cervics
Temen gw ngabarin, kalo temennya kena penyakit beresiko mati ini. Padahal, temennya itu perempuan yg sgt baik dalam pergaulan, sehat, ga ngerokok, dan ga berbebas ria.
Ternyata setelah menikah, setahun kemudian, ia mengidap penyakit ini. Lethal to women.
Kata dokter, penyebabnya, kalo dah begini, adalah dari suaminya. Yang bebas masa lalunya, bawa penyakit, yg ga ngaruh buat dia, tapi iya buat istrinya.
Lethal weapon.
Lalu, diadakanlah vaksin kanker cerviks ini.
Prosesnya lama, setaunan. Disuntik 3 kali dalam setaun itu.
Kalo untuk Aku, gatau deh.. pasrah aja?
Time is clicking..
Decide!
Pencegahan Kanker Serviks Uteri :
1. Kalau tdr tdk ush pakai CD.
2. Shbs pipis keringkan dgn tissue.
3. Ganti CD minimal 2x sehari.
4. Ganti pembalut minimal 2x sehari.
5. Hindari mkn makanan/buah yg meningkatkan produksi lendir : nanas, kol, timun, dsb.
6. Jangan memegang vagina dengan kuku kotor.
7. Jangan biarkan CD basah.
8. Jangan melakukan sex bebas.
9. Kalau bisa lakukan pemeriksaan USG/ screening Uterus secara rutin.
Sebarkan ke semua orang yang kamu kenal. Selamatkan PEREMPUAN
Ternyata setelah menikah, setahun kemudian, ia mengidap penyakit ini. Lethal to women.
Kata dokter, penyebabnya, kalo dah begini, adalah dari suaminya. Yang bebas masa lalunya, bawa penyakit, yg ga ngaruh buat dia, tapi iya buat istrinya.
Lethal weapon.
Lalu, diadakanlah vaksin kanker cerviks ini.
Prosesnya lama, setaunan. Disuntik 3 kali dalam setaun itu.
Kalo untuk Aku, gatau deh.. pasrah aja?
Time is clicking..
Decide!
Pencegahan Kanker Serviks Uteri :
1. Kalau tdr tdk ush pakai CD.
2. Shbs pipis keringkan dgn tissue.
3. Ganti CD minimal 2x sehari.
4. Ganti pembalut minimal 2x sehari.
5. Hindari mkn makanan/buah yg meningkatkan produksi lendir : nanas, kol, timun, dsb.
6. Jangan memegang vagina dengan kuku kotor.
7. Jangan biarkan CD basah.
8. Jangan melakukan sex bebas.
9. Kalau bisa lakukan pemeriksaan USG/ screening Uterus secara rutin.
Sebarkan ke semua orang yang kamu kenal. Selamatkan PEREMPUAN
27.1.10
minimonet
| taken from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1239267/Meet-mini-Monet-Seven-year-old-boy-sells-paintings-900-each.html a child prodigy? should a child prodigy have got this brain that thinks like adult/ seeing beauty in the eyes of the elder? it is wonderful indeed. but it's not honest. the child brave honesty that is being the value of childhood.. please, my age now is the age where i can have 5 boys like him.. but i still do believe in the bold and daring truth passionate spirit that is named childhood spirit.. |
the grd
http://aidavyasa.multiply.com/journal/item/439
isinya: sapa yg bikin lambang garuda.
ganteng beneuurr.. gaswatt
a man that ganteng.. we cant trust them women..
but maybe the state can.
kayanya sih, lambang begituan pasti terinspirasi lambang2 di eropa juga, yang ngebuat binatang jadi satu tampak grafikan warna emas, dan perisai terbagi berapa simbol berwarna alam: merah hijau, emas putih.
ya globalisasi, pencampuran budaya..sudah ada dari dulu.
emang, burung dan benda2nya lokal. gaya, style, bungkus interlokal.
isinya: sapa yg bikin lambang garuda.
ganteng beneuurr.. gaswatt
a man that ganteng.. we cant trust them women..
but maybe the state can.
kayanya sih, lambang begituan pasti terinspirasi lambang2 di eropa juga, yang ngebuat binatang jadi satu tampak grafikan warna emas, dan perisai terbagi berapa simbol berwarna alam: merah hijau, emas putih.
ya globalisasi, pencampuran budaya..sudah ada dari dulu.
emang, burung dan benda2nya lokal. gaya, style, bungkus interlokal.
6mil dol pound eur
I'm dreaming of 6million dollar. Or euro. Or pounds.
What for?
Everything.
Put 60mil is much better.
Ro study,art,gallery, dreams..
Yea, it's impossible money for a non business anything like me.
But then.. It is a dream indeed.
It's nonsense, a friend says.
I laugh.
To dream is to set a goal.
To dream is to measure how much you value yourself.
Yes, your value is for you yourself to create.
Then, creativity is a way to bring the dream comes alive..
That's how your value can be seen.
The attitude, brain, and result.
Yes, I said my dream is 6-60million dollar pound euro..
Impossible money?
Maybe.
Possible money?
Definitely!
Why definitely?
Here.
As I assumed, dream is how you value yourself..
60million $£ is my dream. To gain all the dreams I want to achieve. All. Art study shoes academic etc.. And some other Great dreams..
Therefore, 60mil$£ is my value.
I am worth 60mil$£..
To gain the dream, I have to make sure I worth the dream..
So, don't waste it.
Don't waste your dreaming oportunity..
DREAM BIG!!
What for?
Everything.
Put 60mil is much better.
Ro study,art,gallery, dreams..
Yea, it's impossible money for a non business anything like me.
But then.. It is a dream indeed.
It's nonsense, a friend says.
I laugh.
To dream is to set a goal.
To dream is to measure how much you value yourself.
Yes, your value is for you yourself to create.
Then, creativity is a way to bring the dream comes alive..
That's how your value can be seen.
The attitude, brain, and result.
Yes, I said my dream is 6-60million dollar pound euro..
Impossible money?
Maybe.
Possible money?
Definitely!
Why definitely?
Here.
As I assumed, dream is how you value yourself..
60million $£ is my dream. To gain all the dreams I want to achieve. All. Art study shoes academic etc.. And some other Great dreams..
Therefore, 60mil$£ is my value.
I am worth 60mil$£..
To gain the dream, I have to make sure I worth the dream..
So, don't waste it.
Don't waste your dreaming oportunity..
DREAM BIG!!
26.1.10
Nggak.. Godaaann
Problem w/ guys,work,mom,god,fat,money..
Only by seeing shoes..
The colors, the shape..
It's art.
Since I no longer would see painting, because, I paint myself. And I want to see new york galeries for painting, not more indonesian, because indonesian paintings are so damn beautiful..I'm envy..
So here we are..
Yang 50persen, itu cuma 300ribuan. Harga normal sekarang. Tinggi.. Dan aga sakit.
Trus yg sendal fucshia, turquoise,item dan yang gede itu.. Buatan schutz, 200usd alias 2jutaan..
Nah, ada balenciaga lego shoes. Itu sepatu eksentrik, harganya? 4175 usdolar.. Alias, 41jutaan lewat..
Dulu gw gasuka sepatu mahal.diatas 300rb. Sekarang? Because I can.. And I love passionate art..
And the believe, we can do dream and make more..
Rite dude?
To name a few..
Better than any kisses..
Any chocolate that fats..
Stress reliever..
25.1.10
benda tersayang
red shoes nine west.luminence something. lobbb it
fucshia sofa, aku pesen di kelapa gading, gara2 sedih liat sofa di index mahal banget. dan cuma iseng, ternyata dapet beginian. 1,8jt. kalo mau tau, tokonya deket index di MAG kok. jalan2 dikit tar liat sofa2 yang dipajang banyak dan dibawah 2jt. mayan bener.
my lobly BLUE ZARA HEELS.. pastinya gw dapet diskon.. yea, im cheap. ga diskon ga beli, kalo branded. abis pasti deh sale mah..
kalo ini, lenove netbook. pinkyyy lucu beneerrr
22.1.10
Ngebedah tulisan orang, novel, sastra, fiksi, mungkin emang oke aja. Its good to know what's in someone thoughts, the depth, the idea.
Tapi the idea of seeing, knowing what you write being discussed by someone else, as if it was the great lesson should be thaught..
Rasanya janggal.
Karena tulisan fiksi adalah imajinasi liar yg seringkali berisi pertanyaan.
Rasa gelisah penulis.
Apa cocok dijadikan mata kuliah
Tapi the idea of seeing, knowing what you write being discussed by someone else, as if it was the great lesson should be thaught..
Rasanya janggal.
Karena tulisan fiksi adalah imajinasi liar yg seringkali berisi pertanyaan.
Rasa gelisah penulis.
Apa cocok dijadikan mata kuliah
Arse msg
He called me again. My ex.
The more he called, the more realized I am.
He was meant to be out of my equator, was a generous act of invisible hands of the lord.
Salvation.
Rescue.
Prevent.
I'm saved. For now.
I realize, I can see it clearer,
My ex was, is, will be, an arse.
He might be a great smart wise guy in his business world. But as a man, he fails.
And yet, he still thought I'm his ho.. Unpaid ho..
Arse.
The more he called, the more realized I am.
He was meant to be out of my equator, was a generous act of invisible hands of the lord.
Salvation.
Rescue.
Prevent.
I'm saved. For now.
I realize, I can see it clearer,
My ex was, is, will be, an arse.
He might be a great smart wise guy in his business world. But as a man, he fails.
And yet, he still thought I'm his ho.. Unpaid ho..
Arse.
19.1.10
bloated
' Oh perutnya badut kan sama kaya perut oki..'
ada avatar kw 3 dibuat orang indo buat tpi.
Dll
Cuma berapa minggu aja pake tv kabel yg isinya film, film, serial, u think u can dance, kartun, jimjam.. Ternyata aku betah ga liat tivi lokal.
Sangat.
Begitu kabel ilang, ngeliat tivi lokal lagi, terasa asam sekali.kecut, dan sungguh rasanya seperti liat tayangan menggarok borok basi yg masih basah.
Dan baru bisa nemu kata:
Tv lokal itu sekarang dirajai aksi interaktif, kuis, pagelaranlomba musik,sinetron jelas, dan semakin tergila2 dgn reality show.
Dan semua entah kenapa, terasa murah. Murahan. Kalo kelas2an. Semua tayangan kelas C. Bahkan berita2 seriusnya pun.
Kenapa?
Oh ternyata.. Dari sedikit kata diatas, ketika ada badut gendut seorang celetuk: oh, kayak oki..
Filosofi tayangan tv media kita, secara sosiologis, sudah terbentuk sbg sosok mengejek, yaitu tanda insecure akan kualitas diri, sehingga mengecilkan kualitas orang lain.dan menjadikannya jualan. Pastilah it sells. Shallow sells. Like sex sales.
Shallow.
Prinsip minder akan kualitas diri sehingga mentololkan orang lain, mewabah ke agenda2 lain.
Trus, mu gimana sekarang?
Kayanya sih, banyak puter film layar lebar ya.. Yg top2nya. Nggak yg klas e gitu.
Dan ow, ttg avatar grade kw 3 di tv itu, no probs sih. Diluar segi etika. Abis dah jelas juga buat kelas apa segmennya. Dan untuk kasihtau masy itu ada loh kisah begini..
Dan get money from it. Ga salah, kelasnya emg bgt. Kec dia jual di tempat yg first class, jelaslah lgs dihujat.
Dah ah.
Liat dono kasino indro dulu
ada avatar kw 3 dibuat orang indo buat tpi.
Dll
Cuma berapa minggu aja pake tv kabel yg isinya film, film, serial, u think u can dance, kartun, jimjam.. Ternyata aku betah ga liat tivi lokal.
Sangat.
Begitu kabel ilang, ngeliat tivi lokal lagi, terasa asam sekali.kecut, dan sungguh rasanya seperti liat tayangan menggarok borok basi yg masih basah.
Dan baru bisa nemu kata:
Tv lokal itu sekarang dirajai aksi interaktif, kuis, pagelaranlomba musik,sinetron jelas, dan semakin tergila2 dgn reality show.
Dan semua entah kenapa, terasa murah. Murahan. Kalo kelas2an. Semua tayangan kelas C. Bahkan berita2 seriusnya pun.
Kenapa?
Oh ternyata.. Dari sedikit kata diatas, ketika ada badut gendut seorang celetuk: oh, kayak oki..
Filosofi tayangan tv media kita, secara sosiologis, sudah terbentuk sbg sosok mengejek, yaitu tanda insecure akan kualitas diri, sehingga mengecilkan kualitas orang lain.dan menjadikannya jualan. Pastilah it sells. Shallow sells. Like sex sales.
Shallow.
Prinsip minder akan kualitas diri sehingga mentololkan orang lain, mewabah ke agenda2 lain.
Trus, mu gimana sekarang?
Kayanya sih, banyak puter film layar lebar ya.. Yg top2nya. Nggak yg klas e gitu.
Dan ow, ttg avatar grade kw 3 di tv itu, no probs sih. Diluar segi etika. Abis dah jelas juga buat kelas apa segmennya. Dan untuk kasihtau masy itu ada loh kisah begini..
Dan get money from it. Ga salah, kelasnya emg bgt. Kec dia jual di tempat yg first class, jelaslah lgs dihujat.
Dah ah.
Liat dono kasino indro dulu
18.1.10
Kemana
Gw sejujurnya ngerti dan yakin kalo space law ato apapun bidang hukum kebijakan dsb, bukan bidang gw yg sesuai otak gw.
Dan gw tau, dr dulu, dr sekolah, kebudayaan selalu menarik buat gw. Antropologi. Dgn gampang gw ngerasa klik.
Trus sekarang, kalo mau lanjutin kemana? Tetep space llm sih..
Tapi itu pride. Bukan cinta.
Barusan liat di youtube ttg law master degree class di leidn. Dan ow..
Begitu stiff, kaku.. Dan.. Oh no.. Gw lgs migren.
Pilihan space gw cm dua. Leiden ato mcgill di kanada. Kayanya, leidn lebih space law. Mcgl lebih air law. Gw lbh pgn space law nya sih. Tp ternyata bahkan isi space law pun ga se dreamy yg gw kira.. Masih soal kebijakan dan sgt kebijakan sekali.. Gw jadi neg.. Menghindari tata negara yg buljit, malah ke hukum kebijakan super buljit.
Padahal kenapa gw pgn spce lw krn gw rasa ini penuh dgn pertimbangan humanitarian, masih banyak crita soal manusianya yg bermimpi akan masa depan. Ah, gw buljit abis.
Dan emg, itu adalah antrop juga.
Iya, kalo gw singkirkan pride spclw, gw mau ngelanjutin belajar antropologi, di georgetown uni gitu. Hahaha.. Itu lebih mimpi lagi ya? Kalo gw bisa jual lukisan ato cerita anak sampe 50rb dolar aja. Sukur2 100rb dolar. Gw lgs melesat ke washtndc. Aw aww mimpii aja
Dan gw tau, dr dulu, dr sekolah, kebudayaan selalu menarik buat gw. Antropologi. Dgn gampang gw ngerasa klik.
Trus sekarang, kalo mau lanjutin kemana? Tetep space llm sih..
Tapi itu pride. Bukan cinta.
Barusan liat di youtube ttg law master degree class di leidn. Dan ow..
Begitu stiff, kaku.. Dan.. Oh no.. Gw lgs migren.
Pilihan space gw cm dua. Leiden ato mcgill di kanada. Kayanya, leidn lebih space law. Mcgl lebih air law. Gw lbh pgn space law nya sih. Tp ternyata bahkan isi space law pun ga se dreamy yg gw kira.. Masih soal kebijakan dan sgt kebijakan sekali.. Gw jadi neg.. Menghindari tata negara yg buljit, malah ke hukum kebijakan super buljit.
Padahal kenapa gw pgn spce lw krn gw rasa ini penuh dgn pertimbangan humanitarian, masih banyak crita soal manusianya yg bermimpi akan masa depan. Ah, gw buljit abis.
Dan emg, itu adalah antrop juga.
Iya, kalo gw singkirkan pride spclw, gw mau ngelanjutin belajar antropologi, di georgetown uni gitu. Hahaha.. Itu lebih mimpi lagi ya? Kalo gw bisa jual lukisan ato cerita anak sampe 50rb dolar aja. Sukur2 100rb dolar. Gw lgs melesat ke washtndc. Aw aww mimpii aja
16.1.10
My best liked food
Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone
Abis ngelukis
Seperti semua kegiatan menyenangkan dan passionate lain, persiapan sudah melelahkan. Tapi ia cuma 10 persen dari seluruh kegiatan. Pada saat kegiatan, emang ampir 70 persen yg dikerahkan. 30persen sisanya, adalah proses pembersihan.
Kadang kalo males proses pembersihan bisa males ama proses2 sebelumnya. Akirnya prosuk pun gajadi.
Kaya ngelukis nih, melukis selalu menyenangkan. Tapi setelahnya itulooh
Di tempat sekecil rumahku ini, belepotan cat minyak tebal, bukan pilihan yg menyenangkan. Apalagi ngebersihin kwasnya yg alaihim gambreng..
Jangan sampe kwas lama ga dibersihin. Amit2 dewh.. Keras benerr
Tu kwas2 kotor dimasukin ke plastik item yg isinya minyak utk cat dan cairan pembersih kwas. Direndem ujung kwasnya aja. 15menitan, dilap satu2.. Di oser ke tangan, ulang lagi, sampe lembut, dan basuh di air mengalir pake sabun batangan ato sunlite.
Dan kalo dah puas, baru selesei.
Lalu, ahh ati2 kalo lukisannya masih basah dan jatuh ke lantai. Olalaaa
Tunggu seminggu lagi baru boleh nempel di lantai.
Ahh aku masih suka sih ngelukis..
Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone
Kadang kalo males proses pembersihan bisa males ama proses2 sebelumnya. Akirnya prosuk pun gajadi.
Kaya ngelukis nih, melukis selalu menyenangkan. Tapi setelahnya itulooh
Di tempat sekecil rumahku ini, belepotan cat minyak tebal, bukan pilihan yg menyenangkan. Apalagi ngebersihin kwasnya yg alaihim gambreng..
Jangan sampe kwas lama ga dibersihin. Amit2 dewh.. Keras benerr
Tu kwas2 kotor dimasukin ke plastik item yg isinya minyak utk cat dan cairan pembersih kwas. Direndem ujung kwasnya aja. 15menitan, dilap satu2.. Di oser ke tangan, ulang lagi, sampe lembut, dan basuh di air mengalir pake sabun batangan ato sunlite.
Dan kalo dah puas, baru selesei.
Lalu, ahh ati2 kalo lukisannya masih basah dan jatuh ke lantai. Olalaaa
Tunggu seminggu lagi baru boleh nempel di lantai.
Ahh aku masih suka sih ngelukis..
Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone
14.1.10
okay, i have several red shoes.
all girls at least once, dream of red shoes.
apparently, after my first red shoes come to real, i had another dream.
and it's already 4 of them at my current place today. red heels. about 5 or something back at mom's house.
but still, the dream of another red heels different models coming.
as cigarette that not everybody is fashionably okay to wear one,
also the red shoes.
red is of course tempting, but can not wear anytime, to anyone, to any dresses.
unlike black, that fits everyone. as grieve as also elegance.
with red, that speak only one thing, but very bold and loud: BRAVE! or sometime: PASSION or: LUST, we have to make sure the dress we wear is very simple. simple and loud. red.
for that simple reason, red color could not wear anytime.
which is why red shoes are always the shoes that we rarely wear, but so desired to wear everyday..
with the wrong outfit, you will only bring the trashy judgement to the shoes or more, to yourself.
yeah, like a cigar to a wrongly outfit girl.
bad bad bad looks disaster..
yeah, black saves the day, as always..
all girls at least once, dream of red shoes.
apparently, after my first red shoes come to real, i had another dream.
and it's already 4 of them at my current place today. red heels. about 5 or something back at mom's house.
but still, the dream of another red heels different models coming.
as cigarette that not everybody is fashionably okay to wear one,
also the red shoes.
red is of course tempting, but can not wear anytime, to anyone, to any dresses.
unlike black, that fits everyone. as grieve as also elegance.
with red, that speak only one thing, but very bold and loud: BRAVE! or sometime: PASSION or: LUST, we have to make sure the dress we wear is very simple. simple and loud. red.
for that simple reason, red color could not wear anytime.
which is why red shoes are always the shoes that we rarely wear, but so desired to wear everyday..
with the wrong outfit, you will only bring the trashy judgement to the shoes or more, to yourself.
yeah, like a cigar to a wrongly outfit girl.
bad bad bad looks disaster..
yeah, black saves the day, as always..
from mail
i'm sending this blog from my yahoomail. let's see what will do. if it's okay, i'll revive my bb. My Candle burns at both ends the light will not last the night but ah my foes and oh my friends it gives a lovely light -roalddahl- |
inside growing any being, there are cells. growing. evolve, bigger and separating.then, depart.
one single organism wouldn't grow into perfect formed being if the cells inside are not evolving and separating. divided.
is that also us, human being, in our social live. today?
we are growing fast with our values, and also growing norms.
we accept much new matters but also close some doors to less old doors.
the unification phase is not a phase that we need to wait long. it is easy to glued on other human being.
then, after all the good nutirion you share each other,
its just enough.
gone to next phase: separation.
it is important phase, if not, the nutrition you have shared each other, gone rotten.
after separation,
we are looking for another nutrition. stories, wits, liquid, adventure, problems..
and repeat the cycle all over.
until we fed up again.
are we all human being today, so fully nutritive until we fed up easily?
may be.
but hence, it's the city people stories only.
may be.
one single organism wouldn't grow into perfect formed being if the cells inside are not evolving and separating. divided.
is that also us, human being, in our social live. today?
we are growing fast with our values, and also growing norms.
we accept much new matters but also close some doors to less old doors.
the unification phase is not a phase that we need to wait long. it is easy to glued on other human being.
then, after all the good nutirion you share each other,
its just enough.
gone to next phase: separation.
it is important phase, if not, the nutrition you have shared each other, gone rotten.
after separation,
we are looking for another nutrition. stories, wits, liquid, adventure, problems..
and repeat the cycle all over.
until we fed up again.
are we all human being today, so fully nutritive until we fed up easily?
may be.
but hence, it's the city people stories only.
may be.
a friend of mine, she studied public health. and now, she's a fulltime writer, also works for tv, doing the journalism stuff.
she didnt regret of leaving the college education. its pursuing what she loves to do, she said. writing.
she even thought of entering movie script education someday.
why?
it's her dream.
yeah, she can do that, because she can.
i understand, and i encourage friends who also want to pursue the dream. i'd say, dream first, mate..
wish i could encourage myself so.
dream first, girl..
but no.
my first, is PRIDE.
eventho i know that im incredibly stupid in what i do,
living with pride of being a smartass is much more comforting.
the name of being called as a smart girl doing an important research upon space law, international law, is a totally number one prior.
proud. pride. sloth.
i realize it shud not be long.
i shud skip this phase. yeah its only a phase.
someday i will live for the dream. surely im not a sri mulyani type, smart cold headed gal.
yeah, my pride academic goal wud only reach the llm phase. after that, well, a book of international law wud be enuff.
im an artist.
dreams of stories and colors already hayed in my brain since unborn.
yea, shud be brave to go there...
yea, im proud, and frighten. heil frau!!
she didnt regret of leaving the college education. its pursuing what she loves to do, she said. writing.
she even thought of entering movie script education someday.
why?
it's her dream.
yeah, she can do that, because she can.
i understand, and i encourage friends who also want to pursue the dream. i'd say, dream first, mate..
wish i could encourage myself so.
dream first, girl..
but no.
my first, is PRIDE.
eventho i know that im incredibly stupid in what i do,
living with pride of being a smartass is much more comforting.
the name of being called as a smart girl doing an important research upon space law, international law, is a totally number one prior.
proud. pride. sloth.
i realize it shud not be long.
i shud skip this phase. yeah its only a phase.
someday i will live for the dream. surely im not a sri mulyani type, smart cold headed gal.
yeah, my pride academic goal wud only reach the llm phase. after that, well, a book of international law wud be enuff.
im an artist.
dreams of stories and colors already hayed in my brain since unborn.
yea, shud be brave to go there...
yea, im proud, and frighten. heil frau!!
8.1.10
make love is not a crime. smoking cigarrettes is. why? because for some people it would not seem fashionably fits.. contrary, it will be a major fashion crime..
ruining all the total look uve dressed up before, and crashing the expensive perfumme u bought.
if you have the supermodel jaw and cheekbones, the cigarrette perhaps would suit. it will be a nice accessory to a skinny face model girl. but wn ur not, well, just look at the mirror while u smoke. is it photographable? if not, biggggg major fashion disaster typhoon crime it isss!!
ruining all the total look uve dressed up before, and crashing the expensive perfumme u bought.
if you have the supermodel jaw and cheekbones, the cigarrette perhaps would suit. it will be a nice accessory to a skinny face model girl. but wn ur not, well, just look at the mirror while u smoke. is it photographable? if not, biggggg major fashion disaster typhoon crime it isss!!
7.1.10
there are always fights in family. all moms to daughter. all dads to sons.
they love each other. they want the best for each other.
different values, different time norms.
end up they hurt each other, saying they want the best for each other.
shall this continue?
the seed is already in us.
sure to pass it down?
im si scared..
wish i could talk to someone.
but only my blog wud accept..
o lord, do forgive..
they love each other. they want the best for each other.
different values, different time norms.
end up they hurt each other, saying they want the best for each other.
shall this continue?
the seed is already in us.
sure to pass it down?
im si scared..
wish i could talk to someone.
but only my blog wud accept..
o lord, do forgive..
they say love is a gift. sometimes from good angel, sometimes from satan. both from god.
a wife is being judged and sentenced to be stoned for having the love making activity with a juvenile aged 15.
the husband is now seen the saint.
the wife, the devil.
the juvenile, the satan.
both got demon possessed.
the people said.
the law decides.
demon must be condemned, by stoning law.
little children throw the stones. small and grand.
the two are only doing what the god gave. passion.lust.want.need.hugs.kiss. love..
filling the empty cup.
and they are the satan.
man, it is human agreement.
when betrayed, betray back.
ahh.. make love is a crime?
a wife is being judged and sentenced to be stoned for having the love making activity with a juvenile aged 15.
the husband is now seen the saint.
the wife, the devil.
the juvenile, the satan.
both got demon possessed.
the people said.
the law decides.
demon must be condemned, by stoning law.
little children throw the stones. small and grand.
the two are only doing what the god gave. passion.lust.want.need.hugs.kiss. love..
filling the empty cup.
and they are the satan.
man, it is human agreement.
when betrayed, betray back.
ahh.. make love is a crime?
4.1.10
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