lagi nyoba ping.fm

GI nite sale: diskon 70 persen apanya.. zara ga ada tulisan apa2 tuh.. dan sepatu yg gue taksir masih: 998.000 dua2nya... huuu..
charles keith apalagi, harga sama.. yg heran kok tetep diserbu cewek2 itu kaya gilee.. jam 11 malem looo
akhirnya gue beli yg sama: satu botol dailyfresh orangejuice 500ml.
ah.. kenikmatan gue jalan bukan beli2nya kok. tapi jalan dan liat2nya aja.. sama kayak ke hutan..bedanya yg ini ngerusak hutan dgn pake ac dll.. just to see is enough. sukur2 sih ada barang bagus yang diskon gile, kayaksepatu zara ato ninewest jadi 150rb aja.itu bonusnya..

TNI AU masih menghadapi masalah keterbatasan dana. "TNI itu setengah mati kalau mau bisa menerbangkan seluruh pesawat yang dimiliki. Suku cadangnya terbatas. Jadi, susah sekali menerbangkan semua Hercules kita,"

tentara miskin. negara dah beli benda2 canggih, untuk operasionalnya dianggurin aja.
polisi miskin. dikasih tempat kerja, kebutuhan sehari2 ATK dkk gak dianggep. (makanya mbak, kita nih kepaksa minta seiklasnya dari yg bikin surat2 ilang gini.., dua sisi ga enak sih mbak.. tapi klo gak gini, operasional keganggu, nih kayak mesin tik ini. pitanya abis, dan untuk beli kita harus ambil dari laporan. jangankan printer, dah rusak dari berapa bulan lalu.kata pak pol itu)
lipi miskin. ha!
roket indonesia kalah sama robot kecil buatan sma swasta surabaya.
sedangkan.. gaji gubernur BI puluhan juta rupiah sebulan. pegawai paling rendah belasan.
ah, gak ngerti nih gue..

apa mungkin negara ini emang negara pesolek seperti cewek cantik yang kulitnya terawat, penuh makeup, rambut mengkilat, tapi isinya kosong?tak tau mengolahnya..
yang penting, 'tampak' besar, 'tampak' kaya...
maka dibelilah sukhoi, hercules, F16..
hanya untuk dipajang saja.. untuk bilang bahwa negara ini mampu. mampu beli. titik.
sehingga para pengatur keuangan diberi kedudukan super mulia di negara ini, diberi imbalan sangat besar seolah dewan mesias negara ini..
hey penduduk2 yg pintar..kenapa terlena saja menjadi penonton.. menonton para pengatur berseteru, seolah negara hanya dijalankan oleh mereka.
hey pengatur2 yang mulya, sudah cukup kota besar ini bersolek. jilbab cantik yang tak penting lagi. perkayalah juga pendudukmu yg pintar2 ini. biarlah kota2 negara ini tak tampak cantik penuh air mancur indah.. hanya bersih sudah cukup..
hanya tempat yang benar2 kaya, ilmu dan kreasi, yang boleh kausoleki..

bleh..
(ga percaya org ekonomi, kecuali pengusaha rakus )

how would you treat your once-becoming-hero?
when he someday committed unforgivable deeds?
when his stubborn idealistic actions deprive you?
when your ideal vision does not suit his as you thought should be as used to?
i know.
got him overthrown to the last pride he ever had in a very cheesy dirty lowest unimportant case ever be. rough, cheap and corny.
give him a bitch.
a needy one.
that's sell.
this telenovela republic would buy it. big time.

why? because they're not involved to the corruption cases that the once becoming hero once fought..
they're only the watchers, out of the fences.
he succeded, they cheer.
he failed, they cheer. and moe.

as i do.
i don't care.
but i do stories.

surat murah duwa

emang bener...
sekali nutup jangan dibuka lagi. apalagi saat lagi bikin buku baru.
karena buku lama, terkadang emang tutup karena harus tutup.
sudah masanya tutup.

ketika ia datang lagi,
aku sungguh tergugah..
tapi hanya pada saat ia meluk.

setelah itu ia kembali menjadi sosok bajing.
dan pacarku kembali menjadi sosok pahlawan.
aku cuma haus pelukan?

wants to go to SPAIN!!
and do painting there..

meanwhile, gotta fix my aptm fst. needs couch, curtain, the curtain sticks, mini ac.
n dying to get a baby..n have none..
remembering a friend of mine, advice me to stop believing n waiting for love.
'i'd better be with this guy who does the efforts to have me, for me.. than waiting for a man's love who never tried to make you happy..'
wake up NG, she said. 'look at me, happy, two children. i was waiting for another guy, before he came. you know that, NG.. but this new guy, not more handsome, nor rich, he's efforting much for me. show me that he cares, just making me feel important. that's the guy we need, NG. not some guys suit our dream..those guys never tried to make you happy, they don't even care.. especially when they see you as a free girl like this, NG..guys always looking for obedient girl.they will stop and leave before they know the real you..'

i was stabbed. those words torn me perfectly.
yet, i still can not accept.
i'm still believing in what my heart says. i still believe in love, that i will have the guy i love n love me back. just like what nat king cole said: the greatest thing in live is to love and be loved in return. and i will have that. i can not surender for the obligation of be wed and urge of having babies and marrying person i don't love deeply, since that is not what i am. my willful heart guides me to choose everything i do.
now, my (coupled-)friends suggestions made me rethink.. should i lie? and stop? do the obligation and forgeting what my heart says?
..
no, i can't.
i was born illogical and i still am.
i believe in my willful heart.
im sorry some guys, can not accept you..
im still a stupid girl..
who can not escaped from the attractiveness of the energy of these men fulfilling their dreams with guts..
and drawing people's attention to his as a center of population..
but men with those energy, usually the men who decided to leave.. asking for obedient girls..stop and leave before they know the real NG..

'your love is illogical. unrealistic. absurd. be real, girl!' my guy friends said many times, suggesting me to have a healthy mind and choose for the available good breeds around me.
'gosh, no mates, the love i want to find in a man is the love that grows me. evolving my cells into the most evolved shape that don't stop growing. thus he needs to accept and believe in my ability. as i do to his'
is that illogical, mates?

ah, i'm wordless, mate..
just have to keep my feet walk, my fingers do, and my brain creates..

i just can't stop from being what i am..