Abis ngelukis

Seperti semua kegiatan menyenangkan dan passionate lain, persiapan sudah melelahkan. Tapi ia cuma 10 persen dari seluruh kegiatan. Pada saat kegiatan, emang ampir 70 persen yg dikerahkan. 30persen sisanya, adalah proses pembersihan.
Kadang kalo males proses pembersihan bisa males ama proses2 sebelumnya. Akirnya prosuk pun gajadi.
Kaya ngelukis nih, melukis selalu menyenangkan. Tapi setelahnya itulooh
Di tempat sekecil rumahku ini, belepotan cat minyak tebal, bukan pilihan yg menyenangkan. Apalagi ngebersihin kwasnya yg alaihim gambreng..
Jangan sampe kwas lama ga dibersihin. Amit2 dewh.. Keras benerr
Tu kwas2 kotor dimasukin ke plastik item yg isinya minyak utk cat dan cairan pembersih kwas. Direndem ujung kwasnya aja. 15menitan, dilap satu2.. Di oser ke tangan, ulang lagi, sampe lembut, dan basuh di air mengalir pake sabun batangan ato sunlite.
Dan kalo dah puas, baru selesei.
Lalu, ahh ati2 kalo lukisannya masih basah dan jatuh ke lantai. Olalaaa
Tunggu seminggu lagi baru boleh nempel di lantai.

Ahh aku masih suka sih ngelukis..
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Purple for anna

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the moment with b

for b from g

one stupid girl

she's a twig.
feels a pig.

she's a professor.
wants to be a mindless barbie.

it's pink and yellow.
but dark within.

"Please don't wear red tonight."
This is what I said tonight.
For red is the colour that will make me blue,
In spite of you, it's true,
Yes it is, it's true.
(beatles-yes it is)

what's wrong with red?
not much. red is impulsive. it's not the color of evil, if devil wore red suits or bra, it's because they're too obvious to state what's in their mind with a simple action like wearing red shoes with a big big smile..(who would resist such appealing creature?)

i joined this meditation club for only a month(can't take another silence sequel.. duuuuh...), but i learned a lot from that 45 minutes lessons from a balinese man wearing white abaya with his -buddha calm look-bule assistant. after preaching for 30 mins, we started the meditation. he started by turning on the RED lamp. there were only 6 of us, in a small room, loaded by red light.. and we meditate. the secret of meditation, he said, is not to think of nothing, but we choose a subject to see in our mind, and stick to it. learn to focus your mind. well, ok.. in the red silence chamber my head is loaded with the cat i saw earlier so adorable, the street artist begging for money, the beach in sabang, my mom angry, and saying, damn, damn, i can't focus, oh god, this bali suhu guy knows what im thinking, he knows i cant focus.. look at that bule girl, her face so soothing like mother mary statue..and.. i failed it..
Red is the color of truth, the bali suhu said. we all are lights, comes from the one enormous light out there, or in here. we all one. we all the red lights. where can we see our light? it's in the middle of your forehead, he pointed his head. being good is easy, being evil is not easy because it costs you a lot of burden to bear. that heavy burden will diminish the light you have that you can see in your forehead. when your burden is not that heavy, living easy, being good to others, your soul light will shine, right in the middle of your forehead..
ok, sure boss.. that's easy to take..
i cant say that im addicted to the meditation healing. to sit down and fold your legs for minutes is unbearable..
its not the meditation that i'm longing for..
it's the color that followed me..
the idea of our color is red.. and the red color sticked to my eyes for hours..
i cant live without it again..
well, red.. is my color..
(especially red nine west shoes..hehe..)

red is passionate..
serving god, supposed to be passionate.
it's like the nun picture in this vatican church holding a spear, her face was trembled of ecstasy, the joy of being passionate to serve.
being good is being passionate, of serving.

si pendongeng

sewidak loro

there was a girl, a different girl,
bold dark lips, eyes as big as the round moon,
nose as flat as the road yet huge to take all the air you threw..
she was called sewidak loro. the girl with only sixty two laces of hair nesting in her bold hair..

hideous, all the children cried..
stones and words are threwn to her..
edge her away from sight, wishing for her disappearance..
in any kind of way..

here, here, my beautiful child..
your lips as red as rose,
your hair as thick dark as coal,
your eyes shine a pair of crystal that tame all vicious mind..
her mother prays in the nights everybody sleeps..

the king seeks a bride..
he heard the rumors of the angelic poor lady who is jailed in her own house..
the king proves the rumor..
o noble king, the story is a cant, the lady is hideous...
the mother answers, o my king, if you want my beautiful child you must never see her until she is before you..

the people who had seen her in her childhood mocks the bride's curtain wagon..
but the mother keep saying you're an angel my child, dewi larasati gave you her beauty and grace..
dear mother, i believe you..
i don't know what beauty is, all i want is to see your fatigue face smiles..
if you want my bold hair to grow more black thick hair, than i hope i will..

the king stands in his own doubt. choosing whom to trust. preparing to kill or to wed..

the bride comes..
the curtain opens..

gods answering the mother's prays that is spoken in all the silent nights everybody sleeps...

di margonda, berbagi cerita dongeng dengan sahabat yang memakai baju ungu sambil menanti bis ungu...

the red wall..

the red wall..

i'm looking at the sea..
the deep blue sea..
the caramel fisherman boat passing by..
struggling alone in the wide wide blue..
spreading the net..

for tonight supper..

i'm stranded.captured. in this luxurious world of witt..
my heart is as rage as my wall..
yet my manner is as tame as the docile blue sea..

plucking my rebab,
i see you everyday..