smoking is sexist..

just got this picture recently from a friend of mine. she said it's been the talk of the town for these days..
it's about this raising star actress wearing veil due to her faith, and one day she's caught by the paparazzi, holding a cigarette and sip it deeply..
this is what the people said about her:
"buka aja deh, ga pantes.."
"how could her!! she's always seemed so faithful, sweet, alim, bla2348573...."
"she broke our hearts...she's not a good role model for my girl anymore..."
"such a munafik creature.. hiding behind her veil... "
"that is a stain on jilbab pure meaning..."
"don't judge a book by its cover"
"whore.."
"that's why i don't wear one.."
etc etc and so on..

those people commented above r belong to this certain typical people whose great faith and saying what's right is right.what is forbidden is forbidden. some of them truly do all the rules, some of them avoid all the rules for being not included into he hypocrite type they said. the sinner or the holy. only those two, life is divided into.

somehow, i never found any consent line with these kind of people.

i'd say those comments are as lucidly stupid as they don't want to admit what's going on with the world..
first, it's sexist!!
that girl is being blamed for smoking or holding a cigarette.
does that mean guys are not subjects to be blamed for smoking?
the media were many times proudly showed addie ms picture holding a cigar, saying this is the perfect picture of an exclusive man from the highest society..
and people agreed, cheered him, and chose him as one inspiring man who elevated the art level in indonesia.
i took this 4 o clock am train from bandung, with all its freshness ala bandung, i enhaled all the air i could intake into my lungs..imagining of the pond, the chirping birds, the green grass...nearly fallen asleep..
and suddenly it was stopped roughly..
some of these bozos animal called middle aged males(luckily none of them are goodlooking).. are throwing the smokes from their thick dark lips to break the freshness of bandung morning's air..
most of the passengers are obviously annoyed..but none of them protested.. my self included.
instead of going to their chairs pulling out the cig out of their mouth and stepped it over, saying 'sire u don't honor the people here who want to embrace the last fresh air of bandung before we reached jakarta, if you want to toast your lungs, do it outside! ', i slept, like anyone else and choosing the reason, i'm too tired. and no one protested.. and they don't even care..
what if, the morning smokers are females? they will be judged as doing the whoring activity in the morning. doesn't matter how nice the female are. the nicer the lady, the worse they'll be judged.

second, it's racist
just because a veil? it's only a cigarette, not caught in the act doing any foreplay..

third, it's stupid
if u r against cigarette, why blame only girls who smoke? ban all smokers, ban the factories, don't take their sponsors, their scholarship, their forestation program..

naaa.. whatever, i'd better sip on another green tea..

duh gawat.. kayanya gw butuh kacamata...
oh no... silindris gw nambah!!

hey chib.. masih inget gue kan?
ya ampun.. elu!! potograper kondang.. temen gw makan dodol terkutuk itu.. hahaha.. pakabar lu?
ok.
gw liat buku terbitan lu tuh, yg poto2 cewek cantik2 itu.. bagus-bagus ya..
hehe.. tq.
...
lu mau?
bukunya?
boleh. difoto juga..
ha?
iya kayak si ailin, lu dah pernah liat kan?
ha.. nude gituh?
iya.
...
....
....... (cewek baik2 harusnya langsung bilang nggak)
dudududu...(dianya dah agak lupa)
kan malu...
loh kan cuma ada gw ama satu orang yang lu percaya. emang apa sih yang bikin malu
lu sinting ya?
ha?
lu lagi ngelinting ya?
nggak. udah kok tadi, abis jam ngantor ma anak2 gw. sekarang kan jam 11 malem chi. gini deh. ga ada cewek yg pernah gue poto, bahkan model paling terkenal sekalipun yang ga ada cacatnya, stretchmark, selulit, bekas luka, itu pasti ada. tapi hasilnya bagus kan? nah, lu mau dimana? studio? jangan deh, bosen. Pantai aja mau ga? ada tuh rumah pantai yang gw kenal yang punya. ntar gw bikinin konsepnya ya.
wah... malu gw, tar ketauan ama temen2...
haha, nggak lah, kan semuanya tergantung lu..
.... .... ..............
nah sekarang, kapan lu buka tutup pala lu?
dasar setan!! ... mm... potonya taun depan ya..

which one do you prefer..
words or picture?
black and white or colors?
bright colors or pastel colors?
music or sports? (naah, we can mix it)
reading or dancing?
i must or i want?
veil or miniskirt?
nude photo or g-string underneath your oversized robe?
to use or be used?
happy biatch or depressed nun?

gabriel garcia marquez. seratus tahun kesunyian.

oprah selalu berhasil merayu para pemirsanya untuk mengikuti cara hidup yang ia suguhkan dalam setiap episodenya. garis besar setiap episodenya adalah how to fill the hole in your life by embracing other people's heart and life..
mengisi kehidupan orang lain untuk menutupi lubang yang ada dalam hati kita sendiri.
itu sebabnya lebih banyak kaum wanita yang menjadi pengikut setia oprah's way of life ini, sebaliknya kaum laki mengaku menyukai acara ini kalau sedang sendiri (sembunyi-sembunyi). because men fill their life by competing fellows and women fill their life by sharing emotions in all kind of way..
families, dieting, politics, educations, breastfeeding, fashion, celebrities, the world's hunger, books and reading, ideas..
oprah talkshow basically speaks about humanity.. and there's no boundary when it comes to it..
politik dimata para ibu rumah tangga, perang dimata para remaja di dunia ketiga, sampai kadar lemak di perut petinggi politik. siapapun bisa membicarakan apapun.
gabriel marquez, mantan jurnalis kolombia yang kemudian menjadi penulis novel-novel sastra yang kemudian mendapatkan penghargaan nobel untuk karyanya one hundred years of solitude, adalah salah satu penulis yang namanya makin dikenal gara-gara talkshow ini.
dalam salah satu episode oprah book's club tersebutlah seorang penyanyi seksi, shakira, yang pernah menetap di kolombia semasa remajanya, menyebutkan tentang betapa cintanya pada buku ini, dan betapa kagumnya pada mr marquez yang mampu melukiskan kondisi sosial negara yang pernah membesarkannya dulu. bahasanya yang lembut dan indah seolah bisa menunjukkan bahwa masih ada harapan akan kehidupan yang hangat dan manusiawi di kolombia yang waktu itu didera konflik bersenjata. begitu akunya. mr marquez pun menceritakan tentang tempat yang ia diami sewaktu menulis cerita-cerita yang kemudian ia tulis, yaitu sebuah rumah kecil di tengah padang rumput luas dikelilingi oleh pohon dan sungai. 'saya menghabiskan waktu muda saya dengan menjadi wartawan dan melaporkan kejadian-kejadian yang seringkali menyakitkan hati, saat-saat perang, begitu pilu karena yang bisa dilakukan hanya menulis dan melaporkan saja, namun tak bisa mengubah apapun.
di tempat ini, saya bisa menyepi dari ingatan masa-masa perang dan walaupun tak bisa mengubah dunia, namun saya bisa mengubah dunia yang seharusnya dalam tulisan saya.' kurang lebih begitulah katanya.
it's all about human. shakira, oprah, dan juri nobel sudah mengiyakan kedahsyatan buku ini.

lalu, aku pun terkena imbasnya...
dengan segera melangkahkan kaki ke beberapa toko buku berbahasa inggris saja di senayan(tahun 2005 salah satu toko buku itu masih ada tapi sekarang mati gara-gara mr oh yang kebelet bikin film ga laku). baru terasa ternyata imbas oprah nggak cuma mengena aku saja. tapi ternyata entah belasan atau puluhan orang lain (ada yang memang ingin tahu apa isinya dan juga ada yang membeli untuk dijual lagi sebanyak-banyaknya). karena ternyata semua sudah sold out dan harus pesan sampai dua bulanan.

dua bulan lewat..

akhirnya one hundred years of solitude sampai di tanganku, dengan stiker besar bertulis OPRAH'S BOOK CLUB. dalam hati, malu juga sih, baca buku itu cuma karena termakan iklan nobel, oprah dan shakira. tapi penulis mana yang ga bahagia kalo bukunya dibaca orang karena emang bagus?

tiga tahun lewat..

(ini skema keluarga buendia di one hundred years of solitude)

dan buku itu belum abis gw baca..
sedangkan davinci code cuma seharian abis.
terus apa yang salah?
aku baca karya-karya marquez lain, the autumn of patriarch, the general in his labyrinth, dan yang terakhir: love in the time of cholera.
aku coba ngintip2 edisi bahasa indonesianya juga..
dan semuanya sama. capek! akhirnya, ora mudheng..mau yang inggris ato indo, palagi latin..
mr M ini dimanapun cara penulisannya sama.
ia menuturkan cerita dari sudut pandang orang ketiga, tak ada dialog kecuali diterjemahkan oleh sudut orang ketiga itu, banyak koma, dan titik hanya ada pada satu chapter.
bayangkan bila kita harus membaca satu kalimat yang isinya ribuan karakter, berisi banyak koma dan satu titik saja. capek! apalagi ini bahasa asing.
memang, patut diakui, bahasanya indah, dan tidak memakai bahasa yang rumit, setelah diterjemahkan ke bahasa inggris tentunya. namun Mr M ini tidak akan pernah langsung bercerita secara lugas seperti penulis-penulis populer seperti dan brown, grisham. ini memang karya sastra.
di autumn of patriarch ia melukiskan suasana istana sang komandan negara yang hancur lebur karena pergerakan bersenjata dengan perlahan seperti orang melukis, kurang lebih ia menulis
'sang burung kematian (vulture-gatau padanannya apa) datang melesat dari udara memasuki teras atas istana yang terbuka, seekor sapi memakan korden putih di tempat sang komandan biasa berpidato pada masyarakatnya....'
Mr M selalu menunjukkan kontradiksi dari apa yang sebenarnya ingin ia sampaikan mengenai kondisi kesadisan atau kesakitan yang dialami oleh negaranya. mungkin karena iklim negara yang diktator dan represif, seringkali melahirkan pemikiran yang lembut untuk menunjukkan perlawanan yang pasti.
dan karena itulah Mr M memenangkan nobel.


tapi tetap saja, aku masih belum bisa menghabiskan satu novel penuh buatan Mr M.
hebat, shakira bisa.
sebagai putri jawa sunda yang sejak kecil sudah terbiasa dengan kisah-kisah pewayangan, raja-raja jawa, legenda-legenda nagari, maka kisah-kisah heroik dan hati besar juga welas asih sudah bukan cerita aneh lagi seharusnya bagi orang-orang indonesia.
Mr M memang pengarang handal, buat kemanusiaan, dan terutama buat negerinya.
tapi buat aku sih, Kisah-kisah di nusantara ini punya yang lebih hebat, karena kita terlibat di dalamnya.
dan sebagai pemenang nobel, kayaknya sih bapak Pramoedya Ananta Toer nggak kalah dibandingkan novel-novel sastra Marquez, Tetralogi Bpk Pram jauh lebih kaya peristiwa, ide dan penokohannya.
mungkin karena marquez lebih dekat lokasinya dengan nobel maka ia dapat penghargaan sejagat itu ya.Padahal kisah-kisah dari Asia jauh lebih kaya. Dan dari cara penceritaan Marquez, beliau sepertinya punya ideologi yang mirip seperti orang jawa, lembut, memberitahu dengan usapan lembut untuk memberi tamparan keras yang menohok di hati.

Nah kalo ada yang suka baca marquez, dan yang udah tamat baca seratus tahun kesunyian, bagi2 ya kesimpulannya..

tembem juga bisa lucu...

this is me, with better appearance of course...
teaching passionately, delivering serious thing with all the senses we could use..
lecturing should be this fun!! (maybe that's the reason i've never been a cum laude student ya.. )
heheheh..

i'm trying to write again..

just found out recently during working on my space law article.
just figured out why i can't read or enjoy any books anymore..
it's the feeling of being left and lonely..
before that broken heart period, i read tons of books passionately, exhausted of curiosity, well, not exactly tons, but close.. hehe..
i read books passionately because i felt i embrace the world in them, and stated my position as a clever girl, i guess.. yeah rite..
that falling in love period a couple year ago, made me found something much more pleasing than reading books.which is, exploring the whole new world of love, and desire. one pair of desiring hearts is deeper than all the oceans in the universe..
after i lost the love..
i can not bear the feeling of being gradually robbed and taken back all those beautiful lust desire warm love feeling.
then i tried to return to my lost love: books, ink, paper, laptop to write, stories, dreams of the world, utopia,...
and i failed it..
read and write are intimate activities..
i need to fall in love to them first (again) to make love to them and gave birth to another thoughts, dreams, and feeling that i'd share to the world..
but what happen is,
when i touch and open the first pages,
i started to feel that again, and tears coming..
alone, being left..
because i left my first love of writing to something else called passion of a man who treated me like a cunt..

this very moment, i'm trying again to fall again for over and over,
make sure that nothing would separate us again...

PISCES

rasi bintang gue.
mana ikannya?
ooo.. yang garis kuning itu...ii lucu..

Pidato ibu clinton

pidato seorang ibu yang harus gw inget sapa tau ntar gw ada dalam posisi yang sama walaupun di belahan dunia lain skala lain dan sebagainya.

aku ga support ibu ini, ataupun kompetitornya yang manapun. karena siapapun yang kepilih, it is the american president. tugas mereka sama, memastikan kedudukan amerika sebagai negara tersuper di seluruh dunia. penguasa, polisi dunia, bapak/ibu seluruh negara di dunia, atau apapun sebutannya nanti.
being human is all of the people around the world's obligation. but it doesn't mean you have the right to give a part of your nationality whatsoever.
tapi bagaimanapun juga posisi seorang perempuan yang mencapai puncak kesuksesan yang biasanya hanya melekat pada laki-laki. Being president of a state, director, top scientist, or any other role leading position, adalah posisi yang sangat istimewa sekali bila seorang perempuan yang memegangnya. bukan karena apa, banyak perempuan lain memilih perkejaan yang lebih mulia dan istimewa: raising another president.

laksmi pamuntjak, astrid dharmawan, desy anwar, definitely not kartini karena belon baca bukunya cuma baca interpretasi pram aja, frida kahlo.
ini nih idola-idola gw.
perempuan-perempuan cantik dan pintar yang kadang kehidupan pribadinya tidak berjalan sebaik keberhasilan yang mereka raih dari kebebasan mereka menuangkan pikiran dan berekspresi. tapi semua ada harganya kan, kalo harus jadi cantik dan pintar tapi kehilangan orang yang disayang, ya udah. kecantikan saja sudah bisa meruntuhkan sebagian dunia apalagi ditambah kecerdasan kan.kehilangan sesuatu membuat kita bisa ngedapetin yang jauh lebih banyak lagi.


June 7, 2008

Hillary's Remarks in Washington, DC

Thank you so much. Thank you all.

Well, this isn't exactly the party I'd planned, but I sure like the company.

I want to start today by saying how grateful I am to all of you – to everyone who poured your hearts and your hopes into this campaign, who drove for miles and lined the streets waving homemade signs, who scrimped and saved to raise money, who knocked on doors and made calls, who talked and sometimes argued with your friends and neighbors, who emailed and contributed online, who invested so much in our common enterprise, to the moms and dads who came to our events, who lifted their little girls and little boys on their shoulders and whispered in their ears, "See, you can be anything you want to be."

To the young people like 13 year-old Ann Riddle from Mayfield, Ohio who had been saving for two years to go to Disney World, and decided to use her savings instead to travel to Pennsylvania with her Mom and volunteer there as well. To the veterans and the childhood friends, to New Yorkers and Arkansans who traveled across the country and telling anyone who would listen why you supported me.

To all those women in their 80s and their 90s born before women could vote who cast their votes for our campaign. I've told you before about Florence Steen of South Dakota, who was 88 years old, and insisted that her daughter bring an absentee ballot to her hospice bedside. Her daughter and a friend put an American flag behind her bed and helped her fill out the ballot. She passed away soon after, and under state law, her ballot didn't count. But her daughter later told a reporter, "My dad's an ornery old cowboy, and he didn't like it when he heard mom's vote wouldn't be counted. I don't think he had voted in 20 years. But he voted in place of my mom."

To all those who voted for me, and to whom I pledged my utmost, my commitment to you and to the progress we seek is unyielding. You have inspired and touched me with the stories of the joys and sorrows that make up the fabric of our lives and you have humbled me with your commitment to our country.

18 million of you from all walks of life – women and men, young and old, Latino and Asian, African-American and Caucasian, rich, poor and middle class, gay and straight – you have stood strong with me. And I will continue to stand strong with you, every time, every place, and every way that I can. The dreams we share are worth fighting for.

Remember - we fought for the single mom with a young daughter, juggling work and school, who told me, "I'm doing it all to better myself for her." We fought for the woman who grabbed my hand, and asked me, "What are you going to do to make sure I have health care?" and began to cry because even though she works three jobs, she can't afford insurance. We fought for the young man in the Marine Corps t-shirt who waited months for medical care and said, "Take care of my buddies over there and then, will you please help take care of me?" We fought for all those who've lost jobs and health care, who can't afford gas or groceries or college, who have felt invisible to their president these last seven years.

I entered this race because I have an old-fashioned conviction: that public service is about helping people solve their problems and live their dreams. I've had every opportunity and blessing in my own life – and I want the same for all Americans. Until that day comes, you will always find me on the front lines of democracy – fighting for the future.

The way to continue our fight now – to accomplish the goals for which we stand – is to take our energy, our passion, our strength and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama the next President of the United States.

Today, as I suspend my campaign, I congratulate him on the victory he has won and the extraordinary race he has run. I endorse him, and throw my full support behind him. And I ask all of you to join me in working as hard for Barack Obama as you have for me.

I have served in the Senate with him for four years. I have been in this campaign with him for 16 months. I have stood on the stage and gone toe-to-toe with him in 22 debates. I have had a front row seat to his candidacy, and I have seen his strength and determination, his grace and his grit.

In his own life, Barack Obama has lived the American Dream. As a community organizer, in the state senate, as a United States Senator - he has dedicated himself to ensuring the dream is realized. And in this campaign, he has inspired so many to become involved in the democratic process and invested in our common future.

Now when I started this race, I intended to win back the White House, and make sure we have a president who puts our country back on the path to peace, prosperity, and progress. And that's exactly what we're going to do by ensuring that Barack Obama walks through the doors of the Oval Office on January 20, 2009.

I understand that we all know this has been a tough fight. The Democratic Party is a family, and it's now time to restore the ties that bind us together and to come together around the ideals we share, the values we cherish, and the country we love.

We may have started on separate journeys – but today, our paths have merged. And we are all heading toward the same destination, united and more ready than ever to win in November and to turn our country around because so much is at stake.

We all want an economy that sustains the American Dream, the opportunity to work hard and have that work rewarded, to save for college, a home and retirement, to afford that gas and those groceries and still have a little left over at the end of the month. An economy that lifts all of our people and ensures that our prosperity is broadly distributed and shared.

We all want a health care system that is universal, high quality, and affordable so that parents no longer have to choose between care for themselves or their children or be stuck in dead end jobs simply to keep their insurance. This isn't just an issue for me – it is a passion and a cause – and it is a fight I will continue until every single American is insured – no exceptions, no excuses.

We all want an America defined by deep and meaningful equality – from civil rights to labor rights, from women's rights to gay rights, from ending discrimination to promoting unionization to providing help for the most important job there is: caring for our families.

We all want to restore America's standing in the world, to end the war in Iraq and once again lead by the power of our values, and to join with our allies to confront our shared challenges from poverty and genocide to terrorism and global warming.

You know, I've been involved in politics and public life in one way or another for four decades. During those forty years, our country has voted ten times for President. Democrats won only three of those times. And the man who won two of those elections is with us today.

We made tremendous progress during the 90s under a Democratic President, with a flourishing economy, and our leadership for peace and security respected around the world. Just think how much more progress we could have made over the past 40 years if we had a Democratic president. Think about the lost opportunities of these past seven years – on the environment and the economy, on health care and civil rights, on education, foreign policy and the Supreme Court. Imagine how far we could've come, how much we could've achieved if we had just had a Democrat in the White House.

We cannot let this moment slip away. We have come too far and accomplished too much.

Now the journey ahead will not be easy. Some will say we can't do it. That it's too hard. That we're just not up to the task. But for as long as America has existed, it has been the American way to reject "can't do" claims, and to choose instead to stretch the boundaries of the possible through hard work, determination, and a pioneering spirit.

It is this belief, this optimism, that Senator Obama and I share, and that has inspired so many millions of our supporters to make their voices heard.

So today, I am standing with Senator Obama to say: Yes we can.

Together we will work. We'll have to work hard to get universal health care. But on the day we live in an America where no child, no man, and no woman is without health insurance, we will live in a stronger America. That's why we need to help elect Barack Obama our President.

We'll have to work hard to get back to fiscal responsibility and a strong middle class. But on the day we live in an America whose middle class is thriving and growing again, where all Americans, no matter where they live or where their ancestors came from, can earn a decent living, we will live in a stronger America and that is why we must elect Barack Obama our President.

We'll have to work hard to foster the innovation that makes us energy independent and lift the threat of global warming from our children's future. But on the day we live in an America fueled by renewable energy, we will live in a stronger America. That's why we have to help elect Barack Obama our President.

We'll have to work hard to bring our troops home from Iraq, and get them the support they've earned by their service. But on the day we live in an America that's as loyal to our troops as they have been to us, we will live in a stronger America and that is why we must help elect Barack Obama our President.

This election is a turning point election and it is critical that we all understand what our choice really is. Will we go forward together or will we stall and slip backwards. Think how much progress we have already made. When we first started, people everywhere asked the same questions:

Could a woman really serve as Commander-in- Chief? Well, I think we answered that one.

And could an African American really be our President? Senator Obama has answered that one.

Together Senator Obama and I achieved milestones essential to our progress as a nation, part of our perpetual duty to form a more perfect union.

Now, on a personal note – when I was asked what it means to be a woman running for President, I always gave the same answer: that I was proud to be running as a woman but I was running because I thought I'd be the best President. But I am a woman, and like millions of women, I know there are still barriers and biases out there, often unconscious.

I want to build an America that respects and embraces the potential of every last one of us.

I ran as a daughter who benefited from opportunities my mother never dreamed of. I ran as a mother who worries about my daughter's future and a mother who wants to lead all children to brighter tomorrows. To build that future I see, we must make sure that women and men alike understand the struggles of their grandmothers and mothers, and that women enjoy equal opportunities, equal pay, and equal respect. Let us resolve and work toward achieving some very simple propositions: There are no acceptable limits and there are no acceptable prejudices in the twenty-first century.

You can be so proud that, from now on, it will be unremarkable for a woman to win primary state victories, unremarkable to have a woman in a close race to be our nominee, unremarkable to think that a woman can be the President of the United States. And that is truly remarkable.

To those who are disappointed that we couldn't go all the way – especially the young people who put so much into this campaign – it would break my heart if, in falling short of my goal, I in any way discouraged any of you from pursuing yours. Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply about what you believe in. When you stumble, keep faith. When you're knocked down, get right back up. And never listen to anyone who says you can't or shouldn't go on.

As we gather here today in this historic magnificent building, the 50th woman to leave this Earth is orbiting overhead. If we can blast 50 women into space, we will someday launch a woman into the White House.

Although we weren't able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it's got about 18 million cracks in it. And the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time. That has always been the history of progress in America.

Think of the suffragists who gathered at Seneca Falls in 1848 and those who kept fighting until women could cast their votes. Think of the abolitionists who struggled and died to see the end of slavery. Think of the civil rights heroes and foot-soldiers who marched, protested and risked their lives to bring about the end to segregation and Jim Crow.

Because of them, I grew up taking for granted that women could vote. Because of them, my daughter grew up taking for granted that children of all colors could go to school together. Because of them, Barack Obama and I could wage a hard fought campaign for the Democratic nomination. Because of them, and because of you, children today will grow up taking for granted that an African American or a woman can yes, become President of the United States.

When that day arrives and a woman takes the oath of office as our President, we will all stand taller, proud of the values of our nation, proud that every little girl can dream and that her dreams can come true in America. And all of you will know that because of your passion and hard work you helped pave the way for that day.

So I want to say to my supporters, when you hear people saying – or think to yourself – "if only" or "what if," I say, "please don't go there." Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward.

Life is too short, time is too precious, and the stakes are too high to dwell on what might have been. We have to work together for what still can be. And that is why I will work my heart out to make sure that Senator Obama is our next President and I hope and pray that all of you will join me in that effort.

To my supporters and colleagues in Congress, to the governors and mayors, elected officials who stood with me, in good times and in bad, thank you for your strength and leadership. To my friends in our labor unions who stood strong every step of the way – I thank you and pledge my support to you. To my friends, from every stage of my life – your love and ongoing commitments sustain me every single day. To my family – especially Bill and Chelsea and my mother, you mean the world to me and I thank you for all you have done. And to my extraordinary staff, volunteers and supporters, thank you for working those long, hard hours. Thank you for dropping everything – leaving work or school – traveling to places you'd never been, sometimes for months on end. And thanks to your families as well because your sacrifice was theirs too.

All of you were there for me every step of the way. Being human, we are imperfect. That's why we need each other. To catch each other when we falter. To encourage each other when we lose heart. Some may lead; others may follow; but none of us can go it alone. The changes we're working for are changes that we can only accomplish together. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are rights that belong to each of us as individuals. But our lives, our freedom, our happiness, are best enjoyed, best protected, and best advanced when we do work together.

That is what we will do now as we join forces with Senator Obama and his campaign. We will make history together as we write the next chapter in America's story. We will stand united for the values we hold dear, for the vision of progress we share, and for the country we love. There is nothing more American than that.

And looking out at you today, I have never felt so blessed. The challenges that I have faced in this campaign are nothing compared to those that millions of Americans face every day in their own lives. So today, I'm going to count my blessings and keep on going. I'm going to keep doing what I was doing long before the cameras ever showed up and what I'll be doing long after they're gone: Working to give every American the same opportunities I had, and working to ensure that every child has the chance to grow up and achieve his or her God-given potential.

I will do it with a heart filled with gratitude, with a deep and abiding love for our country– and with nothing but optimism and confidence for the days ahead. This is now our time to do all that we can to make sure that in this election we add another Democratic president to that very small list of the last 40 years and that we take back our country and once again move with progress and commitment to the future.

Thank you all and God bless you and God bless America.

will there be a war in indonesia?
please don't...

what if the world is without guns..

in the absence of ..
how to feel

in the age of innocence..
beauty prevails before me like a child embracing the sweet smell of roses..
those innocent moments..
so pure..
without prejudice..
when the taste of banana would taste the same as what it should be..
yellow, sweet, creamy...
where too much is clearly too much..
where too small is too small..

after the age of innocence..
beauty prevails before me in a different way..
anger, tears, lust, passion change the palette of live you learned..
where strawberry is not as sour as you remembered should be..
where the sun shines too much rays..
where the moon comes too late and goes too soon...
where the sweet smell of roses sometimes kills you, bleed your palms..

in the age of innocence..
i laugh.. like all the world would laugh with me..
i cry.. like i'm the only person with sadness..
i think .. like i have all the world and all the time in the world to think about..
i write.. like the words wouldn't stop raining through my fingers..
i read.. like the exhausted kitten dwelt on curiosity..

after the age of innocence..
nothing feels the same..
i laugh.. like i have to laugh..
i cry deeply in solitary.. like it's a forbidden act..
i think.. only think.. of reality..
i write.. what i have to write.. not the whole world smiling at me..
only a part of the world i have to write, to bait my life with reality..
i read.. no.. i can not read anymore..
my mind tortured me..
and i simply losing the ability of feeling..
i can not feel..
can not read..
only weep, solitary..

after the touch of your heart..
i see a glimpse of shining sun brighter than any light..
after the touch of your skin..
it comes a while,
but it lasts forever..

it's the path we all have to go through..
that you should walk through step over step..
sometimes, you'll lose a glorious part of your life you achieved ..
but it will passed they say..
time heals it all..
death makes it faster..

emang sama..

enjoy it while it last !!

jantung berhenti sepersekian sekian detik

ada penelitian yang bilang kalo manusia merasa depresi dalam arti: sedih, trauma, stress, terutama perasaan kawatir yang menjadi-jadi, maka degup jantung akan berhenti mengalir selama sepersekian persekiansekian detik. artinya lu mati selama sepersekian sekian detik.

pernah kan ngerasa jantung nih sakit bukan main padahal kita ga (belum) punya sejarah sakit jantung atopun karena masih terlalu muda untuk tertumpuk lemak?
rasanya jantung berhenti berdegup. dan itu benar adanya, menurut penelitian salah satu uni kedokteran di belahan bumi sono noh.

apa coba akibatnya kalo jantung berhenti berdetak walopun cuma sepersekian sekian detik? ya jelas aliran darah jadi ikut berhenti, makanan berhenti diputar, otak kolaps kehabisan darah, dan akhirnya jaringan kulit kita ikut berhenti bernapas. akibatnya tampak sekali: kulit rusak, muka pucat, tidak segar berona, dan akhirnya orang yang depresi itu jadi tampak tua sebelum waktunya. apalagi kalo ditambah sering menangis yang mengeluarkan energi cukup besar, membuat otot dan syaraf mata bekerja lebih aktif dari seharusnya. akhirnya mata jadi berkerut dan berkedut, mending kalo sering dirawat ke dokter. kalo lu miskin ini masalah.

orang yang bahagia nih, biasa tertawa cirinya, geraknya banyak, degup jantungnya normal, aliran darah lancar, akhirnya kulit juga jadi keliatan seger karena pengeluaran keringat lancar, dan gak gampang keliatan tua.

your skin reflects your spirit..

jadi emang..

yang namanya jatuh cinta itu bikin kita lebih muda sepuluh tahun..
tapi yang namanya patah hati itu bikin kita lebih tua dua puluh tahun..

nah, pilih yang mana?

kalo gamau yang kedua dan belum punya yang kesatu, ya gila aja lu ndiri...kan happy terus tuh..

tapi yang penting cuy, lu2 pade kalo stress jangan terlarut ama depresi.. emang bersedih mengasihani diri itu bikin ketagihan, dan kesedihan yang begitu dalam membuat kita bisa melihat dunia baru yang tidak kita liat waktu normal, tapi gak akan bawa kita kemana-mana.. kesedihan bukan temen baik yang patut dijadikan teman dekat..
gimana kita bisa tau kalo kita berteman dekat dengannya? sering-sering ngaca!! kalo kamu suka ama bayangan kamu di kaca, tampak manis, gagah, senyum menarik, mata berbinar, atau ternyata kamu nemuin sosok di kaca itu begitu datar mimik mukanya, pucat, mata kuyu, dan yang pasti lu ga bakal suka ngeliatnya, itu artinya lu depresi. di situlah lu harus mutusin untuk ninggalin sosok di kaca itu...

like yourself, and the world will follow..

-buat jebeng yang mau kuliah,
senyum dong beng..
teteh siap ngebantu kok..

losing my religion..

been losing it for years..
and they call me a heathen..
how come?
i don't hit people, nor judge them who stand for their believe..
is that a price for being unreligion?
being named a heathen..
and losing a part of our right to be human?
being called unfaithful?
being withdrawn from a standard and eligible social status..
i have faith..
and faith is beyond religion..
a good faith shall take you into humanity..
embrace another people no matter what they believe in..
a good faith shall get you the ability of openness..
a good faith shall give you the power of forgiving..
like all the sacred men and women..
the prophet..
the gods..
they were tortured savagely by people over and over..
and always said:
'Forgive them O’ Lord, for they know not what they have done'
'O Allah, You are Most Forgiving One, You love to forgive, so forgive them..'
buddha, jesus, mohammed, abraham, yudistira, moses..
all their stories teaches us to be faithful, persistent, and forgiving..
i have faith,
indeed losing the religion,
but i still have faith..
do you still call me a heathen?

laptop impian:

laptop that fits in my prada clutch..
(sok banget prada, kayak pernah punya aja..)

spec: ram ddr2 2gb, 240 gb memory, layar 7-10 inci, program mac, layar sebening apple family, warnanya putih ato fuschia, dari suede, batre tahan 8 jam, wifi, blutut, cam 8mp, ati radeon/nvidia nonshare 512mb, ada fm radio, tv plus antena inserted, dvdplayer (ga penting lah), yang penting: ringan, kayak asus eee.
kalo aja steve jobs mau membumi dikit dan mengerti keinginan wanita, laptop ringan canggih mungil dan cantik...plus, bahannya gampang dicerna lingkungan..

cuma acer tm 4000 15.4 inci yang lumayan berat ini ternyata sungguh membantu ga bikin mata capek kalo mlotot depan komputer mulu... padahal si 256MB ddr, ati radeon nonshare 64mb, 1.5ghz dan 60 gb hdd ini 4 taun lalu, lama ya, pas baru beli tergolong dah lumayan canggih.. walopun dulu juga dipilihin orang.
sekarang, mau nambah ram aja ternyata ddr1 harganya 2 kali lipet ddr 2. ditambah ganti batre yang tinggal 10 menit kalo beruntung, dan blututh yg belum dipasang, yah totalnya sekitar 3 jutaan deh. nah daripada ganti prangkat, katanya sih mendingan beli baru. asus eee, ato zyrex ubud dan semacamnya.. iya sih, tapi sayangnya muatannya kecil ya.. asus cuma 4gb hdd, zyrex 40gb sih tapi prosesornya ga meyakinkan.. cuma buat pendamping doang.. gimana bisa tahan kalo buat nge-itunes, chatting, ngegame, ngeblog, ngetik, brosing secara bersamaan..

kapan gantinya nih, mau ganti, malah tambah sayang..

nine west shoes...

red? it's my colour!!

i love it suede, fuschia

classic creamy strap shoes..

combine these four..
and i'll grab one..
i love nine west!!